Never mind the Cockbites
by foesjoe
Summary: A major AU diverging at the beginning of the manga. Warning: Contains questionable humour and smut. Now with cold-blooded murder as well!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters used herein belong to their respective owner(s). I am simply using them for entertainment purposes and to poke fun. No infringement is intended.

* * *

The Saotomes and Tendos were sitting around the table in the dining room of the Tendo home, neither quite sure what to say. Genma Saotome had just relayed the story about how he and his son had acquired their curses, and Soun had followed that up with the announcement that one of his three daughters had to marry Ranma.

"Oh! He wants Akane!" Kasumi said quickly.

"Yes, definitely!" Nabiki agreed. "Akane doesn't like boys, and Ranma's a girl half of the time. They're a perfect match!"

"I'm not gonna marry him! He's a freak and pervert!" Akane said rather vehemently.

"Now now, Akane," Soun said. "It's a matter of family honour."

"See, they're already arguing like the perfect couple!" Genma said with a chuckle.

"Quite right, Saotome!" Soun said, joining in his friend's chuckling.

"He's a couple all by himself, I'm not going to marry that freak!"

*WHAM!*

Ranma dusted off his hands as he looked at Akane buried under the table he had just brought down on her head, an expression of contempt on his face. "Call me a freak and a pervert, will you?"

"Now that she had coming," Genma said. The others only nodded in agreement.

* * *

Ranma was seriously starting to question his old man's sanity. They had been staying with the Tendos for five days now, and he and Akane had spent almost the whole time arguing. Though one couldn't really call them arguments. Akane usually took offence to something Ranma said or did, and started insulting him. Ranma, not one to take verbal abuse from anybody, at certainly not some arrogant chick with the grace of a hippo, usually replied by sending Akane to sleep. In the most creatively violent manner he could think of.

Right now, Ranma and Akane were once again arguing. And once again, it was Akane that had started off their fight.

"You freak! Pervert! Sex-changing womanising idiot!"

Ranma turned towards the annoying girl, his hand already pulled back for a nice pimp slap, when something caught his eye. "Wait a minute," he said as he noticed the tips of Akane's breasts trying to poke a hole through her shirt. "You're getting off on this!"

Akane blushed, a nice deep red that started at her hairline and spread all the way down her face and throat. "I do not! Take that back, you pervert!"

"Tch," Ranma snorted as he turned away.

"Hey! Don't walk away from me, you jerk!" Akane called after him, stomping her foot when he just kept on ignoring her. "Ass."

* * *

"So, how's it going with your fiancée?" Genma asked his son as they were having their usual evening meditation session in the dojo. Both were standing on their heads, with their legs folded and their arms crossed in front of their chests.

Ranma opened one eye to shoot his father an evil glare. "I found out that Akane gets off on me punishing her. Can you believe it? All this time she's been accusing me of being a freak and a pervert, when she's the only pervert here!"

Genma sprang to his feet and kicked his son in the ribs, sending him crashing to the floor. "Foolish boy! What are you doing out here? Go in there and give your fiancée what she needs!"

Ranma scowled as he got back to his feet. "Shut up, old fool! I'm not gonna do something like that!" He further expressed his dislike with his father's idea by pummelling him into unconsciousness.

"Idiot," he muttered as he walked out.

* * *

"I can't believe this! I'm surrounded by perverts," Ranma grumbled under his breath as he walked into the kitchen. He had just beaten the shit out of his father for his perverted suggestion that Ranma actually go and fulfil Akane's fetish and decided he deserved a snack.

"Oh, hello, Ranma-kun," Kasumi greeted him. "Is something wrong?"

Ranma waved her off. "Don't worry about it. Just pops and Akane being idiots."

"Why don't you tell me about it? Maybe I can help," Kasumi said. She took off and hung up her apron before she sat down at the small table in the kitchen. "Here, sit down," she said, patting the chair next to her.

Ranma became uncomfortable. There was no way he was going to tell Kasumi about his problems. They were of a too private nature. And besides, they'd only been staying with the Tendos for a few days, but Ranma was already certain that Kasumi wouldn't be too comfortable talking about the things he had deduced about Akane.

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea, Kasumi. You probably don't want to hear about this."

"Nonsense! I'm sure that whatever troubles you, it can't be that bad."

"Trust me, you really don't want to hear about this." At least, Ranma was sure she didn't want to hear about this. Kasumi just seemed so nice and ... innocent. He couldn't bring himself to burden her with his troubles.

"You're our guest, Ranma-kun. And as your host it is my duty to help you as best as I can." Kasumi beamed one of her bright smiles at Ranma. "So, just go ahead and tell me. I'm sure I can help."

Ranma looked into Kasumi's eyes for a long moment, trying to see if she was telling the truth. Her offer seemed to be honest, and her confidence in her ability to handle whatever he was about to tell her genuine.

In the end, he decided that Kasumi was probably the only person in the household who could help him with this. "Well, okay, but don't say that I didn't warn you!"

So, despite still having some doubts, Ranma took a seat beside her and told her about the things he had found out about Akane and what his father suggested he do about it. When he was finished he looked up, expecting to see a brightly blushing Kasumi with an embarrassed expression on her face.  
Kasumi didn't really look embarrassed, but she had tears in her eyes. "Oh, please, Ranma-kun! Could you do it? You'd be doing our family a great favour!"

Blinking, Ranma leaned back, not believing his ears. "What? You want me to actually go up and pu- punish Akane?"

Kasumi nodded, focusing her gaze on her lap as she fiddled with the hem of her apron. "Yes. I'm afraid Akane hasn't had the best experience with men, and she's never had an assertive male figure in her life. All the boys at her school seem to be interested in rather ... improper things, and father never had it in him to be strict with any of us. Now it seems like Akane's secretly been craving for a strong man to subdue her and show her the error of her ways because of all this."

"That doesn't make any sense," Ranma said. "Why would she want me to beat her up- I mean punish her?" he quickly corrected himself. "She has all those guys at school that are trying to beat her up, and she hates that. It doesn't seem like I'd be doing anything different."

"No! You're wrong!" Kasumi said forcefully, raising her head to pin Ranma with a determined look. She enveloped his left hand in both of hers as she went on, "Despite what's happening at school, Akane's still secretly wishing for a strong man to reign in her violent outbursts and bad temper. She knows that the boys at school are only interested in doing things that are ... improper, and she resents them for it, but you're different. You've declared your displeasure with your situation from the beginning, and that tells Akane that you're not like the boys at school. You see? You're perfect."

"I don't know," Ranma said, squirming slightly as Kasumi continued to caress his hand. "It just doesn't feel right for me to be doing something so ... perverted."

"Please, Ranma-kun, I'm begging you! Akane needs a strong man to be a good influence and guiding force in her life, and none of us can fill that role. Can't you do it, for us? For me?"

Ranma looked into Kasumi's tear-filled eyes as he heard the distinct note of pleading in her voice. That, combined with the almost desperate way she was now clutching his hand, caused his resolve to crumble. "A-all right, Kasumi. I'll give it a try. I don't know if I can be what you're hoping for, though."

"Oh, thank you!" Kasumi said as she enveloped the young man in a crushing hug, burying his face between her breasts. "You won't regret this. I promise!" She eased up a little on her embrace and pushed Ranma back a bit to look into his eyes. "If you come to my room tonight, I'll give you something special to show my gratitude."

* * *

Ranma stood in front of the door to Akane's room, one hand raised to knock as he shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot. He had decided to get this punishment session over with as soon as possible, preferring embarrassment with a quick end over endless feelings of dread and bad conscience.

The only problem was that he had no idea how to actually go about punishing Akane. All the times he had slapped the girl around up to then had been because she had insulted him and pissed him off.

And that was what Ranma was having trouble with now. Akane hadn't done anything to piss him off – at least not in the last thirty minutes – and just going in there and beating her up for no reason other than Kasumi asking him to felt ... wrong to him.

He stepped back from the door, lowering his hand again and hanging his head. "How the hell do I go about punishing her?" he asked no one in particular, scratching the back of his head as he frowned in thought.

Maybe he should try to be polite and reasonable about it.

'Hey, Akane. It's become clear that you want a strong boy to show you who's boss, and I'm here to fulfil your wish. And also because Kasumi asked me to do this.'

No, Ranma shook his head, that wouldn't do. Not only didn't he give a flying fuck about what that brat Akane wanted, telling her that he was doing this because Kasumi had asked him to would give her more ammunition to ridicule him. The great Ranma Saotome, powerless to deny Kasumi. What a joke!

The best way would probably be to just barge in there, throw that little bitch over his lap and spank her until she was so sore, she'd be unable to sit without a cushion for a week.

Yes, Ranma nodded, that was the way he'd do this. Mentally steeling himself, he threw open Akane's door and marched into her room as if he owned the place.

Startled, Akane quickly snatched her hand up from her crotch and swivelled her chair around. "You!" she said. "What do you want here, pervert?"

Ranma didn't answer her right away. He calmly closed and locked the door before he brought his attention to the youngest Tendo daughter, pinning her with a hard look.

Akane gasped, her face flushing red and her eyes widening. "Ge- get out of my room, you freak! Pervert!"

Ranma narrowed his eyes, glaring at the bitch. "Shut up!" He walked towards the desk Akane was sitting at and roughly grabbed her arm. "Get up!"

"W-what? Ouch! Stop it, you're hurting me!"

Ranma snorted. Did he look like he cared? He hauled Akane to a standing position and took over her vacated seat, then brought the stupefied girl back down and laid her across his lap.

"Y-you pervert! What are you doing?" Akane protested. She immediately started wiggling on Ranma's lap, wildly flailing her arms and legs in an effort to escape.

SMACK!

"Shut up!" Ranma said again. Then followed his order with another slap of Akane's ass.

SMACK!

Akane stiffened, her eyes widening, before she resumed her struggling. "S-stop it, Ranma!"

Ranma scowled, putting his left hand between Akane's shoulder blades to hold the girl down as he raised his right hand for another round of slaps.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Akane whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. "Ouch! P-please stop."

SMACK!

"Shut up!" Ranma ordered again, resting his hand on Akane's ass. "You've been a real bitch, Akane. Ever since I've come here you've been constantly insulting me and making fun of my curse. You even went so far as to tell all your little friends at school that I'm a pervert. It's time you got what's coming to you."

He quickly flipped up Akane's skirt, revealing blue and white polka dotted panties, and lay another round of hard slaps on the girl's already rosy ass.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"P-please, I'm sorry!" Akane said, tears now freely streaming down her cheeks. "I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!"

SMACK!

"How many times do I have to tell you to shut the fuck up?!" Ranma said, punctuating his question with another hard slap. Despite his initial misgivings, Ranma could feel himself become aroused, and he had to shift slightly to make his growing erection less noticeable to the girl lying over his lap.

"I've had a talk with Kasumi earlier," Ranma said, resting his hand on Akane's ass. Without conscious effort, that hand started to lightly squeeze and massage the girl's pert bottom. "She's told me that you've always been a bitch, even as a little girl, and that no one had the balls to punish you for your bratty behaviour. Well, I have the balls, and I'm sick of you acting like some uber bitch."

Ranma grabbed a hold of the waistband of Akane's panties and with one forceful pull, he ripped them right off of the startled girl. The panties come off with a loud ripping sound, eliciting a frightened squeak from the girl resting on Ranma's lap.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Ranma laid another round of hard slaps on Akane's now bare ass, turning it quickly into a deep red colour.

"Things are going to change here from now on," he told Akane. "You'll stop acting like a bitch and be at least civil towards me, understand?"

Akane only whimpered.

SMACK! SMACK!

Spanking the girl twice in quick succession, Ranma repeated his question. "Do you understand?"

"Y-yes! I promise I'll try to be nice from now on!" Akane said between sobs. Her face was flushed red, thick streams of tears were running down her cheeks and a trail of snot hung from her nose.

"That's my good girl," Ranma said, patting Akane's ass as a reward for her obedience, before he shifted awkwardly around on the chair. His dick was completely hard by now, and there was no way the girl lying on his lap didn't notice it poking her stomach, but Ranma found he didn't care. He was long past the point where Akane finding out that spanking her turned him on bothered him.

"I don't believe you'll be able to change over night," he told her as he went back to squeezing the firm, and now quite red, cheeks of her ass, "and I fully expect that we'll have to repeat your sessions until you're finally able to treat boys like normal people. So if you don't want to be treated like a little girl you better put some real effort into changing your behaviour! Understood?"

"Y-yes! I understand! I'll try to be better from now!" Akane replied quickly. "Just please, please..."

"Please what?" Ranma asked, his hand still caressing Akane's bottom.

"T-touch me," Akane whimpered.

Ranma raised an eyebrow, an act that was lost on the girl. Had he heard that right? "Come again?"

"I said touch me!" Akane repeated, louder this time.

SMACK!

"Don't tell me what to do!" Ranma said, emphasising his order with another hard slap of her ass. Then he went back to gently stroking and caressing it again. "But let's say I'd be willing to do as you say. Where do you want me to touch you?"

In response, Akane made a noise somewhere between a sob and a whimper.

SMACK! SMACK!

"I asked you a question, answer me!"

"My pussy! I want you to touch my pussy!"

"Heh," Ranma chuckled, "don't tell me getting your ass paddled has turned you on." He stroked his hand over the swell of Akane's ass and down to her pussy, finding it dripping wet. "Oh my, you are turned on. Now who's the pervert?"

Akane mumbled something.

SMACK! SMACK!

"Speak up, bitch! I can't hear you!"

"I'm the pervert!" Akane suddenly burst forth. "I'm a little slut that loves to be spanked and put in her place by a strong man!"

Ranma smirked. "Yes, you are. You're nothing but a dirty little pervert slut. And for finally realising that, I'll even grant you your wish." Saying that, Ranma plunged his index and middle finger to the knuckle into Akane's dripping wet snatch, causing the girl to howl like a bitch in heat.

"My, what a horny little whore you are," Ranma said as he started pumping his fingers rapidly inside Akane's spasming cunt, setting her off on the road to what was promising to be an orgasm beyond anything she had ever achieved herself.

Akane's cunt was clutching Ranma's fingers tightly, but at the same time it seemed to be trying to force them out with its strong rhythmic contractions. Curling his fingers, Ranma sought out and then started massaging Akane's g-spot as he lowered his thumb to brush across her erect clit. "Isn't that right? You're nothing but a dirty little slut!"

"O God yes! I'm a bitch! A cunt! A dirty little pervert slut! AAAAAAH!" Akane howled as she came all over Ranma's hand, the strong muscles of her cunt rippling over his fingers as they tried to suck them in deeper and push them out at the same time. She twitched and shook like a slut during her orgasm, and had to bite down on her hand to keep the whole neighbourhood from hearing her cum her brains out.

Ranma smirked as he kept on fingering the twitching girl relentlessly, driving her to greater and greater heights of pleasure, setting off a chain of multiple orgasms that had the the poor girl shaking almost hard enough to throw her off Ranma's lap. Readjusting his grip on the girl with his left hand, Ranma had to admit that he was getting off on watching her juices squirt out around his fingers as he continued fucking her mercilessly.

He kept the girl going until she was nothing but a quivering, whimpering wreck of flesh, too exhausted to even scream. Only then did he finally pull his fingers out of her twitching cunt.

The sensation of having Ranma's thick fingers pulled out of her cunt set off another orgasm in Akane, and she howled anew into her hand as a thick jet of her juices shot forth from her pussy to splatter noisily on the floor.

"Tch, pathetic," Ranma said as he pushed Akane off his lap. She fell to the floor with a thud and immediately curled up into a ball, still twitching and shivering from the aftershocks of her orgasm.

Ranma ignored her pathetic whimpering and went to the door, unlocking and opening it. "And remember: One slip up and I'll beat your ass raw again!"

As he walked out, he wondered if Akane considered his words a promise or a warning.

* * *

Later that night, Ranma was knocking on the door to Kasumi's room. He had just finished paddling Akane's shapely ass until it was raw and was left with a giant raging boner trying to break out of the confines of his pants. He hoped he had interpreted Kasumi's comment she had made that evening right and the girl was going to help him with it.

"Come in!" Kasumi called out.

Ranma opened the door and slowly crept into Kasumi's room, taking a look around.

It was a nice room with a big bed standing along the wall in one corner, a wardrobe with two doors and a mirror standing against the opposite wall, and a sideboard standing along the third wall. On top of the sideboard Kasumi had arranged about a dozen small porcelain figurines.

"Oh, Ranma-kun!" Kasumi said as Ranma entered. The young man did a double take when he saw what she was wearing. Kasumi was dressed in a very sheer nightgown that fit her nicely, moulding to her curves in a shimmering waterfall of dark blue silk. It seemed to have built-in support for her breasts, because they were looking rather perky tonight. "I heard you taking care of Akane and I can't tell you how grateful I am! Just let me get you your special present."

Ranma watched with keen interest as Kasumi got up and walked over to her wardrobe, bending over to rummage around inside. The way her behind wiggled did nothing to calm Ranma's raging boner. If anything, it made it worse.

"Here we go!" Kasumi said suddenly, turning around with a sky blue sweater in her arms. "I knitted this myself and thought you should have it as a thank you for what you're doing for Akane."

Ranma blinked stupidly at Kasumi, but accepted the sweater. "Oh, uh, thanks. I guess."

"Was there something else?" Kasumi asked as Ranma continued to stand there like a lost lamb, startling the young man out of his stupor.

"Ah, no," Ranma said. "I'll guess I'll just be going then." He turned around to leave.

And knocked over three of the figurines standing on the sideboard with his hard dick.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry!" He said quickly, his face flaming red in embarrassment.

"Oh my!" Kasumi said when she finally noticed Ranma's condition. "You seem to be in some discomfort, Ranma-kun. Do you want me to help you take care of that?"

Ranma averted his eyes as his blush turned an even brighter red. He had come to Kasumi's room because he wanted her to get him off, but he hadn't expected her to be so direct about it! "S-sure. I mean, only if you don't mind."

"Oh, I don't mind, Ranma-kun. Just stand right there." She went over to the cupboard and opened a drawer. When she turned around again, she had a long ruler in her hand.

Ranma looked at Kasumi with a puzzled expression on his face. Was she going to measure his dick?

Kasumi's intent quickly became clear when she raised the hand holding the ruler...

SMACK!

...and brought it down on Ranma's bulge with all her might.

Ranma went cross-eyed and started gagging in pain, but Kasumi wasn't done yet. Again and again she smacked Ranma's dick with the ruler, until Ranma was lying on the floor curled up into the fetal position.

"Bad penis, bad! That's not nice in polite company!" She scolded Ranma's pride when she was finished.

All Ranma could do was whimper pathetically as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"There, all better!" Kasumi said before she put the ruler back. When she turned around and found Ranma still a whimpering ball of pathetic manflesh on the ground she frowned. "Hmm, maybe I went a little bit overboard," she mused.

She knelt down beside the quivering young man and gave his shoulder a light shake. "Ranma-kun, are you all right?"

Ranma didn't answer with words. Instead he tried to kind of inch away like a caterpillar, desperate to put as much distance between himself and this crazy girl as he could, whimpering like a terminally ill dog.

"Oh my! I'm sorry, Ranma-kun. I wasn't trying to hurt you," Kasumi said. Then an attractive blush spread across her cheeks as she bit her lower lip cutely. "D-do you want me to, uhm, to kiss it and make it better?"

Ranma's eyes widened as his heart rate tripled in panic and he tried to scramble to an upright position. He ended up tripping over his own feet and lying flat on the ground on his back, the wind momentarily knocked out of him.

Kasumi obviously took this action as consent and quickly relieved Ranma of his trousers and boxer shorts, her eyes widening as she saw Ranma's package for the first time. "Oh, oh, oh my," she stammered. "S-so big. And so ... blue." She frowned. "Did I do that to you? I'm so sorry!"

Ranma pushed himself off the ground with his arms and tried to crab walk away, but froze when Kasumi put her hands on his inner thigh, dangerously close to his privates. He momentarily debated whether he should just try getting away despite having the hand of an either extremely violent or just very clueless girl within grabbing distance of his dick, or if he should deal with her like he would a dangerous predator: stay still in the hope that she would just believe him dead and lose interest. His choice was made for him when Kasumi started stroking his abused manhood with her other hand, her fingertips barely whispering along his length.

Against Ranma's will, blood started flowing back into his dick, which slowly became hard again. He couldn't help but let out a soft moan as Kasumi continued her soothing strokes along his length but had started murmuring soothing nonsense as well.

"There, there, little one," she murmured, the 'little' making Ranma wince. "It'll be better soon."

When Ranma's dick had grown almost completely hard, Kasumi bent forward, bringing her mouth close, her moist breath flowing over his sensitive cock head and sending shivers down Ranma's spine. Then, sticking out her tongue, Kasumi swiped it across the knob.

A jolt of pleasure shot from Ranma's dick up his spine and into his brain, short-circuiting his motor control and causing Ranma to go rigid and his eyes to cross as his dick went all the way to full erection with just that one swipe of Kasumi's tongue. The sensation was unlike anything Ranma had ever felt before. Kasumi's tongue was smooth but also wet and pleasantly warm.

Ranma relaxed slightly as the shock caused by Kasumi's sudden action faded away, and he groaned as he let his head loll back. He had never imagined that having his dick touched and licked by a girl could feel this good. The sensations caused by Kasumi's steady teasing licks combined with the deft stroking of her hand were incredible, and he was approaching orgasm far quicker than during any of his masturbation session.

He brought his head up to watch what the girl between his legs was doing when she moved the hand that had been resting on his thigh to his balls and started squeezing and massaging them. Seeing the attractive form of Kasumi, her face flushed and her breath coming in rapid gasps, between his legs as she worshipped his cock was almost too much for Ranma. Groaning, he closed his eyes and started reciting a passage from his history book in his head to keep himself from cumming all over her face.

When he opened his eyes again, it was to see Kasumi opening her mouth as wide as she could in order to take the broad head of his cock into her mouth.

"O God!" Ranma gasped. He had thought just having her stroke and lick his dick was good, but having it inside her mouth was ten times better! It was hot and wet, and her lips were unbelievably soft around his dick as her tongue continue to stroke and lick the tip of his manhood.

"Ka- Kasumi, I'm ... I'm gonnaaaAAAAAARGH!" Ranma screamed as Kasumi suddenly bit down.

The agony coursing through Ranma's body was beyond anything he had ever felt in his life. Worse than being mauled by dozens of starving cats. Worse than having his dick slapped black and blue with a ruler. It was a pain so bad he wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy.

What felt like decades later, Ranma was finally able to concentrate beyond the pain. His legs shot out and encircled Kasumi's waist, causing the girl to yelp in surprise. Ranma used this opportunity to throw her across room and make good on his escape. Before he really realised what had happened, he was lying curled up and whimpering in his futon.

He decided then and there that he would pack his stuff and leave this mad house as soon as he was able to move without feeling like his dick was being ripped off.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The characters used herein belong to their respective owner(s). I am simply using them for entertainment purposes and to poke fun. No infringement is intended.

Warning: Explicit sexual content ahead. Not for the faint of heart.

* * *

Ranma's dick stopped feeling like it was being ripped off exactly two hours, twenty-seven minutes and fifteen seconds later. Though if he were honest, it had been hurting a lot less for quite a while, that was just the amount of time until Ranma felt like getting up again.

As he got up he considered packing his stuff and limping as far away as his hurting body would allow, then decided that he'd rather inspect the damage Kasumi had done to his knob first. For all he knew, the bite could have done some serious injury, and he didn't realise it due to his high pain threshold from having spent his whole life undergoing his father's insane, often beyond stupid and highly dangerous training methods. As a result of that, nothing short of hacking off one of his limbs could slow Ranma down.

He gathered a change of clothes and snuck out of the guest-room, then tip-toed down the hall and down the stairs to the bathroom, being careful not to make too much noise. The last thing he needed was somebody checking who was using the bathroom at this odd hour just as he was inspecting his private parts.

As quietly as he could, he opened and closed the bathroom door as he slipped inside, turning on the light as he went. He dropped his clean boxer shorts and shirt on the hamper, then walked into the inner room containing the bathtub. There was just one problem.

The bathtub was empty.

"Shit," Ranma cursed. This meant he'd have to run a bath. He shook his head. There was nothing to be done about it. He wanted to clean up and wanted a hot bath even more. He'd just have to hope that the running water wouldn't wake anybody up.

After he had started the water, he went about taking off his clothes. Taking off his shirt was easy, but getting rid of his trousers and pants was a more delicate affair as every wrong movement sent new jolts of pain through his body.

Gingerly, and with much care, he took off his trousers, managing to avoid jostling his tender genitals for the most part. Then, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he hooked his fingers in the waist band of his boxers and took those off two.

He remained in that position, slightly bent over at the waist with his eyes closed, for some time, taking deep breaths and mentally preparing himself for the horrible sight that would greet his eyes as soon as he opened them again. Finally, when the suspense was getting too much for him, he opened his right eye a crack and led out a hiss.

"Damn!"

Just as he had expected, his dick was not a pretty sight, though it was better than he'd feared. It was covered in already fading bruises from the base almost all the way to the tip, and he could still see teeth marks just behind the head, surrounded by dried blood. He silently thanked his superhuman healing as he went about cleaning himself up.

"That bitch really did a number on me," he mumbled as he started washing himself with warm water – he didn't want to find out what triggering his curse would do to his damaged genitals. He washed his manhood last, gingerly trailing his fingers over his penis as he cleaned off the dried blood. "Tch, fucking insane bitch. I can't believe she bit me."

He straightened once he had finished washing up, shaking his head as he banished all memory of that horrible event from his mind.

The bathtub had filled by this time, and Ranma turned off the water and slipped inside, letting out a hiss as he submerged his tender parts in the hot water. Soon, though, he got used to the high temperature and started to relax, resting his head on the edge of the bathtub as he closed his eyes.

"What a terrible day," he mumbled, before he stopped thinking altogether and let himself be lost in the soothing feeling of the hot bath.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

With a start, Ranma twitched awake, cursing as the sudden movement aggravated his tender manhood. "Shit! I must have dosed off."

"Ranma-kun?" Oh no, it was that insane bitch! "Is that you in there?"

Groaning, Ranma looked skywards, sending a silent 'What did I do to deserve this?' to the big guy – correction, big woman, no man would have force Ranma to suffer through the events of this evening – upstairs, before he answered.

"Yes, Kasumi. It's me."

"Are- are you all right? You, uhm, left kind of fast earlier, and I was ... worried that I might have hurt you."

Ranma shot the door an incredulous look. Might have hurt him? What kind of drugs was that stupid bitch on? She had just mistaken his dick for a tasty salami and chomped down on it with gusto. After she had slapped the shit out of it with a ruler. Might have hurt him, fuck!

Ranma snorted but found he couldn't get really angry. Annoyed like a cat in a bathtub, yes, but not angry. Kasumi's voice sounded genuinely worried, and despite what had happened a few hours ago, Ranma couldn't really think of Kasumi as someone who would intentionally hurt somebody else.

He sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine, Kasumi. Just a little sore." That was an understatement. "Why don't you go back to bed. I'm almost finished here anyway."

He got out of the bathtub and had just reached for a towel when the door opened. Ranma stopped as he was, scowling at Kasumi, who had, it seemed, decided to ignore his instructions to see for herself that he was all right. Or maybe she just wanted to finish her work.

"I'm kind of busy," Ranma said in a highly annoyed tone. He made no move to cover up, though. Kasumi had already seen everything he had to offer - had even chewed on it, for fuck's sake! - and the way her face lit up with a blush was kind of cute.

She was still dressed in the nightgown she had worn earlier, though she was clutching a first-aid kit in her arms. "I, uh, that is..." she stammered as she looked everywhere but at Ranma. "I thought I could take care of your ... injury. Maybe. If you don't mind, that is."

Ranma's mouth fell open and he stood staring at Kasumi as if she had grown a second head. Did she honestly believe he would let her get within grabbing distance of his privates after what she had done to it earlier?

"No way in hell!"

Kasumi winced, and tears gathered in her eyes. "I, I'm really sorry! I didn't know that part of a man was so ... frail," she said as she took a few steps closer. "And you're such a strong young man, I thought it wouldn't hurt..." she trailed off, standing now almost within arm's reach.

"Oh, and I guess the reason you bit me was because you wanted to see how a dick tastes?"

"...yes," Kasumi said timidly, her face going even redder.

"Well as you can see," Ranma said, spreading his arms and legs, allowing her a good look at him, "I'm fine. A little sore, maybe. But I'll be fine in the morning. Now would you mind leaving me alone?"

Kasumi bit her lip as she shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, still not able to look at Ranma. "I... I'd really like to make it better, Ranma-kun."

"No thanks. I don't feel like letting you cut it off," Ranma deadpanned.

"That's not what I was going to do!" Kasumi protested heatedly, her sudden change in attitude causing Ranma to blink in shock and take a step back. The young woman took that opportunity to almost lunge at him, one hand extended as she grabbed for his dick.

But Ranma had been training in the martial arts since before he could walk, his body conditioned to react before his mind caught up to it. He sidestepped her lunge and grabbed her extended arm, twisting it behind her back as he spun her around and closed the distance between them, his other arm reaching around Kasumi and trapping her hand clutching the med-kit. They ended up with her back pressed against his chest, her left arm twisted behind her back, her right arm in front of her stomach, caught under Ranma's own, much stronger arm.

"What the hell do you think you're doing," Ranma hissed in her ear. His hot breath against her ear and the side of her neck sent shivers down Kasumi's spine, who threw her head back and groaned in response. It did strange things to Ranma's dick, caught as it was between the cheeks of her ass.

"I ... I wanted to help you!" Kasumi gasped out. She arched her back slightly, pressing her ass more firmly against Ranma groin.

"I don't want your help!" Ranma growled, doing his best to ignore the way Kasumi was wiggling in his arms. He couldn't let his dick distract him again, not if he wanted it to stay attached! "The last time you offered to 'help' me, you almost bit my dick off, you crazy bitch!"

"Yes! It's true!" Kasumi said, a hint of shame and ... something else in her voice. "I've been bad, Master! Punish me!"

Master? What the hell?

Startled by Kasumi's outburst, Ranma almost let go of her, but caught himself at the last moment. "What did you just call me?" he demanded, tightening his grip on her left arm. He must have heard wrong. There was no way that innocent and clueless Kasumi had called him that.

"Ma- Master!" Kasumi said again, her voice wavering. Tears started to leak out of the corner of her eyes, running down her flushed cheeks in glistening rivulets as she tried to look Ranma into the eyes over her shoulder. "I've been bad! I heard you discipling Akane, and wanted you to do the same to me! But I wasn't strong enough to ask you, so I tried to trick you into punishing me!"

Ranma still had trouble believing her, but that changed as he saw the tips of Kasumi's breasts. They had hardened into tight little nubs and seemed to be trying to poke holes through the flimsy fabric containing them. And thanks to the built-in support of the nightgown, they were pointing slightly upwards, almost begging Ranma to take them into his mouth and suck them.

His dick grew completely hard, turning into a red-hot bar of flesh lying between the soft globes of Kasumi's well-shaped bottom.

Ranma let out a growl, a low rumbling sound that started deep in his chest and caused Kasumi to shiver again as he subconsciously started thrusting his dick along the cleft of her ass. "You want to be punished? You want me to bend you over the bathtub, spank your little ass and use you for my pleasure?"

Kasumi gasped, and her eyes shot wide open as she let out a moan and her knees grew suddenly weak. Ranma had to tighten his hold on her to keep her from falling on her ass. "Y- yes, Master! I deserve nothing less! Pu- punish me! Use me!"

Ranma paused to consider this, tightening his hold on Kasumi even further, his throbbing cock the only moving part of his body.

Did he want to give Kasumi what she asked of him? Did he want to, in a sense, reward her for her earlier actions? Wouldn't the best response be to just walk away, to leave her, unsatisfied and unfulfilled?

Yes, he should probably do that. If only to show her that he didn't like being tricked. But fuck it, he was horny! His dick was hard enough to drive nails into concrete with it, and all the sexual frustration of the day had given him a major case of blue balls.

Ranma made his decision. He would give Kasumi what she wanted, and get what he wanted as well.

With lightning quick movements, he grabbed Kasumi's right arm and twisted it behind her back, then grabbed hold of both wrists with his left hand. This left his right hand free to push Kasumi to her knees and bend her over the edge of the bathtub.

He flipped the hem of her night-gown over her back, revealing her smooth rounded ass and very moist pussy.

Ranma groaned, the sight Kasumi presented in this position driving his lust to new heights. Her back was arched, her ass and pussy begging for attention and her perky breasts pointing down and forward.

Ranma let his eyes wander over the curve of her back until it reached her pert ass. The two cheeks were smooth and round and just begging to be spanked until they glowed red. Beneath the delicious curve of her ass were her firm thighs, the insides glistening with the juice that was already flowing freely from Kasumi pussy. It was shaved completely clean, not even a hint of stubble anywhere on the labia, and her lips were red and swollen with arousal.

Kasumi panted as she remained in that position, her thighs twitching restlessly as she suppressed the need to rub them together. She looked over her shoulder at Ranma with pleading eyes. "Pl- please, Master!"

Ranma smirked at her, stroking his right hand lovingly over the firm globes of her ass, before he let it trail down her thighs, following the course of the small rivulets of pussy juice there. He scooped some up and brought his finger to his nose, breathing in deeply, savouring the delicious aroma of Kasumi's hot arousal.

Bending down, he pinned Kasumi with a fierce stare and rubbed his finger over her lips. "Taste yourself," he ordered.

Kasumi met his gaze, her eyes shining with her total submission as she did as she was told. Her tongue peaking out from between her luscious lips, she lapped at Ranma's finger. As soon as she tasted herself, Kasumi groaned and her eyes rolled back in her head as she was overcome with an orgasm.

Her whole body suddenly started shuddering violently, her hips bucking as they thrust back against air, her pussy lips twitching as it convulsed in orgasm, spewing forth a gush of fresh juice.

SMACK!

"Hey! Who said you were allowed to do that?!"

Deciding that he couldn't let that bitch get away with cumming just like that, Ranma started spanking her. First her ass, then he realised that Kasumi had caused him far more pain than Akane, and he aimed his slaps at the blood-engorged lips of her dripping cunt.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Kasumi howled as she started to writhe like a fish out of water, desperately trying to break free, to avoid the painful slaps. "Please, Master, stop! You're hurting me! You're hurting me bad!"

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"Shut up! Now you know how I felt!"

Ranma proceeded to spank Kasumi's ass, cunt and thighs mercilessly for several minutes. He stopped only when his hand was starting to sting and Kasumi's whole backside was a uniform, glowing red.

The poor girl was sobbing by then, her face flushed red, two big streams of tears running freely down her cheeks as she drew in frantic breaths between hiccups. Her nipples were harder than ever, though, and her cunt remained dripping wet, a small puddle of her oily juices having formed between her knees on the floor.

Panting heavily, his dick a throbbing slab of meat, Ranma stood over Kasumi. He was hotter than he had ever been in his life, his libido cranked up to record heights by the heavy scent of Kasumi's musk in the air and the act of dominating the hot young woman that was now reduced to a sobbing mess.

He finally couldn't take it anymore. Reinforcing his grip on Kasumi's wrists, he got in position behind her glowing ass, his right hand firmly holding his dick as he guided it to the opening of her cunt. "Are you ready for this?" he said as he stroked the broad head of his dick up and down between her gaping lips, making sure to nudge her fully erect clitoris with every pass.

Kasumi could only whimper in reply and jerk her head, though it wasn't clear whether she was trying to tell Ranma to stop or nodding for him to go on.

The young martial artist paid no attention to that, though. Even if she did want him to stop, he wasn't going to grant her wish. He was finally going to get the sexual gratification he had been needing since earlier that day, when he had left Akane a sobbing, twitching mess on the floor.

Positioning his cock at her opening, her pressed forward with his hips, nudging the lips of Kasumi's pussy apart as he slowly shoved his cock inside her steaming cunt. Her copious juices should have provided more than enough lubrication for this, but Ranma found that getting his dick inside her hot box was a lot harder than he had anticipated.

"Ungh!" Kasumi groaned, biting her lip.

Frowning, Ranma grit his teeth, beads of sweat forming on his brow as the clasping lips of Kasumi's cunt slowly stretched enough to allow the head of his cock inside. It sank in slowly, and as soon as he had managed to wedge the broad arrow-shaped head inside the tight pussy, the lips snapped shut behind it, sealing the massive girth inside as if they didn't want to let it out again.

Kasumi gasped, throwing her head back as she looked over her shoulder at Ranma, her eyes wide. "Ca- careful, Master! You're so big!"

"Fuck! So tight!" Ranma groaned, pausing in his thrusting as the feeling of Kasumi's hot, wet and incredibly tight cunt massaging his cock combined with her wanton tone and submissive words almost brought him to orgasm. It felt as if he had a raging river held back by a flimsy dam in his belly, with the dam ready to burst and release his pent up arousal at the slightest nudge.

When he had brought himself back under a semblance of control Ranma took his hand off his cock, now that it was firmly lodged in Kasumi's clenching twat, and grabbed a hold of her hip, his powerful fingers digging into the pliant flesh above the swell of her luscious ass. Both her cheeks were a deep red from the spanking she had received and spread wide open, her anus seeming to wink at Ranma every time her pussy clenched along his cock.

Ranma used his handhold to drag Kasumi back just as he thrust his dick forward, burying it deeper into her moist rippling tunnel with every thrust, and causing the young woman to whimper and moan like a slut.

"S-so good!" Kasumi said between moans, her eyes clenched tight. "Ta- take me, Master!"

Ranma answered Kasumi's wanton demand with moan as he proceeded to ram his turgid cock into her rippling pussy. When he had about half of his dick buried inside her, he stopped again, panting heavily, his face drenched with sweat, and released Kasumi's wrists to grab her waist with both of his hands.

Kasumi took that opportunity to reach across the bathtub and grab the opposite edge of it with a white-knuckled grip as she arched back further, tensing in preparation of what was to come. Her thighs trembled and her ass wavered as she held the urge to thrust back like a wanton slut in check, biting her lower lip in anticipation.

"Fuck! You feel so good, Kasumi!" Ranma said as he started a fucking motion, drawing his hips back only to thrust them forward again, burying his dick deeper and deeper inside the oldest Tendo daughter's hot snatch.

"Ma- master! You're gonna make me cum! Please, let me come!" Kasumi begged when Ranma's cock was buried almost all the way inside her.

"Do it, slut! Come for me!" Ranma barked as he drew his hips back one last time. He thrust forward violently, burying his cock all the way inside Kasumi's cunt with a loud slapping sound as his hips crashed against Kasumi's glowing ass, the head of his cock nudging against the back of her pussy as his balls slapped against her swollen clit.

"AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!" Kasumi screamed as the last deeply penetrating thrust of Ranma's cock inside her cunt sent her over the edge. She started bucking wildly, her whole body shivering and twitching, as her cunt rippled along the slab of flesh inside her molten heat. Her cunt was leaking like a faucet as it convulsed along Ranma's cock, juices squirting out around his cock and bathing his balls in the hot oily liquid.

"Ungh!" Ranma groaned, biting his lower lip hard enough to draw blood as he desperately fought to hold back his own orgasm. The feeling of Kasumi's molten cunt squeezing his cock was heavenly, beyond his wildest imaginations, sending jolts of white-hot pleasure along with some pain from the still bruised areas on his dick up his spine to explode like tiny supernovas in the pleasure centre of his brain.

Focusing on the pain allowed him to ride out Kasumi's orgasm, but it was close. Once the young woman had calmed down somewhat, wracked only by occasional twitches from aftershocks of her orgasm, he let go of her waist and put his hands under nightgown, stroking them up her flanks until he could take a hold of her full breasts.

Grabbing her breasts, his palms rubbing over her turgid nipples, he bent forward, positioning his face beside hers. "Are you ready to get fucked now, slut?!" he growled in her ear.

But judging by the expression on Kasumi's face, the girl was in a completely different world, unable to answer Ranma's question. Kasumi's face was flushed red, tears leaking out of the corner of her eyes and drool running down her chin. Her eyes were glazed and she couldn't focus on him, seeming to be looking through him instead.

Ranma smirked, taking her dazed expression as her consent, and drew back his hips as he prepared to fuck the shit out her.

He rammed his hips forward as hard as he could and immediately began fucking her with long deep strokes, using her breasts as handholds, mauling them and squeezing them hard enough to leave bruises. The pain only seemed to heighten Kasumi's pleasure though, who was shaking and twitching in a continuous orgasm that had started with Ranma's first thrust, howling every time Ranma buried his cock balls deep inside her.

Her pussy was going wild, convulsing and rippling along Ranma's cock like crazy. Juices gushed forth every time Ranma drew his cock back, and they spattered all over their thighs and the floor when his balls slapped against her cunt lips.

Ranma readjusted his hold on her breasts as he straightened up a little, letting go with his right hand and grabbing her nipple between thumb and index finger of his left hand. He drew his right hand back, then brought it down on her ass with a loud smack, pinching her nipple at the same time.

This sent Kasumi into another round of violent convulsions as she once more came like crazy, thrashing like a woman possessed. Ranma had never thought that the always so proper seeming young woman would be such a wild fuck, but was thanking his lucky stars that his first time was with such a wild cat as he continued hammering his dick in and out of her moist cunt.

The air was heavy with the smell of sex and filled with loud slapping sounds every time Ranma's hips hit Kasumi's ass, punctuated by a louder slap every dozen thrusts as Ranma smacked Kasumi's ass.

"Ungh! So tight!" Ranma managed to get out between panting breaths. "I'm gonna cum soon, slut!"

This seemed to penetrate the fog surrounding Kasumi's lust-crazed mind, and she used her hold on the edge of the bathtub to thrust her ass back against Ranma's hips, trying to get his dick buried even deeper inside her twitching cunt.

That did it for Ranma. "FUCK! HERE IT COMES!" he screamed as he came, his dick twitching as it started spewing Ranma's cum inside Kasumi's womb.

Kasumi's head suddenly snapped back, her hair flying over her shoulder, and her back arched even deeper, sending droplets of sweat through the air as she opened her mouth in a wordless scream. Her eyes rolled back in their sockets until they were completely white, and Kasumi was hit by the mother of all orgasms.

Her cunt clamped down on Ranma's cock, squeezing it almost like a pair of strong feminine hands, making moving it almost impossible. Then it relaxed again and a high pressure spray of pussy juices shot forth around Ranma's cock, splattering against the floor and creating a huge puddle of Kasumi's nectar, before her whole cunt, from her lips all they way back to her cervix, started rippling like crazy, seeming to draw Ranma's cock in even deeper, her cervix nipping at Ranma's cock head, trying to suck his jizz deep into her womb as Kasumi continued flailing around wildly.

Ranma thrust a few more times as his world went white, tiny bursts of ecstasy popping in his head like orgasmic fireworks, until it became too much and he just buried his cock balls deep in Kasumi's hot cunt convulsing cunt, his hips twitching spasmodically every few seconds.

"Holy..." Ranma said once he was almost able to think straight again. "That was awesome. Right, slut?"

Kasumi didn't answer, aside from shivering occasionally, her cunt muscles clasping down on Ranma's softening cock.

Ranma frowned and pulled his cock out. It released with a 'pop' sound and was followed by gush of mixed juices, causing Ranma to smirk slightly.

SMACK!

"I asked you a question, slut! Answer me!" Ranma barked, giving her ass a firm slap. His frown deepened when he still got no answer out of her. She didn't so much as twitch her head.

Taking hold of Kasumi's shoulder, he gave it a slight shake. The young woman still didn't respond, but her head lolled to the side, and Ranma saw that she had lost consciousness. Her eyes were closed and her lips were slightly parted, drool still running down her chin, as Kasumi slept the sleep of the sexually exhausted.

"Heh. Told ya I'd fuck ya silly."

Ranma left the girl as she was and went about cleaning himself up. Once he was clean and dressed, he shortly pondered whether he should wake her up or not, but ultimately decided against it.

"Heh. Hope her father finds her like that. Bitch deserves it," he murmured as he closed the bathroom door behind himself.

* * *

Early in the morning Ranma was having a very pleasant dream as he lay sleeping in his futon. It involved lots of bacon and half a dozen naked chicks waiting on him hand a foot.

Sadly, his dream was rudely interrupted by a kick to his ribs, courtesy of his father.

"Get up, boy! It's time for training! Just because it's the weekend and you don't have to go to school doesn't mean you can slack off!"

"Mmm, go away," Ranma grumbled. "I'm too tired and sore to deal with you."

"Oh! The shame! Living in a decent home for a few days, and already my son's going so-URK!" Genma's patronising rant was cut off abruptly as he found his mouth filled with one of Ranma's slippers.

"I said cut it out, old man! My dick hurts, I didn't get much sleep last night, and I'm just not in the mood for your bullshit today!"

"Splech!" Genma said as he spit out his son's shoe, grimacing from the taste. "What's this I hear? My weak son can't even endure one night of sex? The sha-URK!"

"Will you just SHUT UP?!" Ranma screamed, scowling at his father. "And for your information: I'm not sore because of the sex. I'm sore because all the girls here are crazy nutcases, and seem to think it's okay to slap the shit out of my dick with a ruler before they try to bite it off! So lay off already!"

Genma slapped a fist into his palm. "Hah! I can help with that!" he exclaimed, before he frantically started shoving clothes into a backpack. "Pack your stuff, boy, we're going on a training trip!"

"Wha?"

"I said pack your stuff! We're gonna toughen you up! To the point where you'll be resilient enough to withstand giant boulders slamming into your penis!"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The characters used herein belong to their respective owner(s). I am simply using them for entertainment purposes and to poke fun. No infringement is intended.

* * *

Ranma had to admit, the spot his old man had picked for their short training trip was nice. They had set up camp in a small clearing surrounded by trees, and not fifty metres away was a small brook.

Though he still had no idea what his father had planned. All he knew was that it included a giant boulder that weighed over a ton and lots of very strong rope.

"Ranma! Get over here and help me wrap the rope around the boulder!"

Rolling his eyes, Ranma did as he was told. He still had no idea what his father had planned, but a sneaking suspicion was forming in his mind.

Working together, they quickly wrapped enough rope around the boulder to tie up Godzilla, then stepped back to admire their handiwork.

"Okay, that's the first part almost done. Here, take these." Genma said, holding out his palm. On it lay five small blue pills.

Ranma took the pills, picking one up between thumb and index finger to closely inspect it. "What are they?"

"They're viagra pills, boy! I... obtained them myself," Genma said proudly. "They'll make sure that you, err, stay hard throughout the entirety of your training."

Ranma's sneaking suspicion was growing into a bad feeling. A really bad feeling. "Just how, exactly, are we going to train?"

"Easy boy! You take off your clothes, swallow those pills, I tie you up, and then I'm going to smash that boulder into your penis until you've build up enough resilience to either shatter the boulder, or at least poke a deep hole in it!"

Ranma's eyebrow suddenly developed a nervous tick as he mentally repeated 'Must not kill him. Must not kill him.' to himself. It took him quite a while, but finally Ranma managed to regain some control over his murderous impulses.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!"

Genma grimaced and wiped the spittle of his face. "Stop being a drama-queen, boy!" he said. "It's for the good of the Anything Goes school! And it'll help you, as well!"

"And just how is this going to help me?"

"Must I spell everything out for you? Oh, the shame! To be cursed with such a useless son that can't even think for himself!"

"Shut up!" Ranma said, his fist buried in his father's face. "I just don't see what kind of benefit I could gain from being able to shatter boulders with my dick!"

"Oh, I truly am cursed with a foolish boy!" Genma sobbed as he adopted one of his overly dramatic poses, his face turned heavenward and his fists clenched. "Think boy! It doesn't toughen up just the dangly bits between your legs! You're going to be smashing into a giant boulder! It'll toughen up your whole body. And once you've mastered this technique, you won't ever have to worry about an opponent going for your family jewels. Besides, I have it on good authority that chicks dig guys with an erection hard enough to pierce concrete."

"Yeah, I bet," Ranma muttered under his breath, but decided to go along with it. It did sound like a useful technique to learn.

He watched as his father sat down at the fallen tree they were using for a work surface and began fiddling with something. Genma's bulk was blocking Ranma's view, and he couldn't make out what it was. He was sure though that he wasn't going to like it. His father continued fiddling and muttering for fifteen minutes, then he was apparently finished with whatever he was doing.

"All right, boy. Now take off your clothes and put this on," Genma said, handing the thing he had been working on to his son before he set about getting the boulder ready.

"What is this?" Ranma asked as he accepted the strange contraption from his father. It was a big ring made out of metal, and connected to it were two straps. Suddenly, his bad feeling was back again.

"It's something I built myself, just for you! You put it around your penis to keep it pointing straight," Genma said as he tied the giant boulder he had picked for this training exercise to a high branch of the tree they had chosen for Ranma's training. "Oh, and you might want to put it on before you swallow the Viagra pills."

"I'm still not so sure this training exercise is such a good idea, pops," Ranma said as he eyed this new torture device warily.

"Nonsense, boy! It's all for the good of the schools. Now hurry up, then get over here and let me tie you up!"

It didn't take long to get Ranma ready, though he was now asking himself why he had decided to go along with this.

"All right! Let's go!" Genma shouted. He released the boulder, which swung down towards Ranma like a giant pendulum.

As he hung tied up from a tree, his whole body except for his hard cock wrapped in strong rope, and saw the giant boulder swinging towards his boner, Ranma pondered that telling Genma about his sore cock might not have been the wisest decision he had ever made in his life.

Ranma screamed like a choir boy getting penetrated for the first time by the pastor as he collided cock first with the boulder, his dick bending in ways it was not designed to bend. When his father dragged the boulder back to the starting point for another go, all he could do was sob and whimper as twin rivers of tears streamed down in his cheeks.

"Don't be such a wimp, boy! We have to toughen you up! I had to endure much more horrible things when I was training under the dreaded master."

* * *

"Oh my! Ranma, Mister Saotome, I didn't hear you come back last night," Kasumi said as she entered the dining area and saw Ranma and his father sitting at the table. Both were looking rather worn out, with bags under their blood-shot eyes and very pale faces.

Ranma barely glanced at the first girl he'd ever had sex with. Was it just his imagination or had Kasumi sounded accusatory just then? Nah, it was probably just in his head. "We didn't. We got back only half an hour ago. And thanks to my stupid old man," Ranma emphasised his statement with an elbow to his father's head, waking him up from his nap, "I don't even have enough time grab a quick nap before I have to leave for school."

"That's nice! I'll go and make you a bento."

"Nice, she says," Ranma muttered with a scowl as Kasumi went back into the kitchen.

He was just about to nod off when Akane entered the room. "Oh. You're back."

Ranma cracked one eye open to glare at her. "You don't have to sound quite so enthusiastic about it."

Akane flushed, quickly averting her eyes as she started to fiddle with the handle of her satchel. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that."

Ranma grunted, not in the mood for an argument after the weekend he'd had, and ignored her. He was just about to fall asleep again when Kasumi came back with two bentos.

"Here you go, you two."

Mentally groaning, Ranma stood up. "Thanks, Kasumi," he said, absentmindedly planting a kiss on her check as he accepted his bento.

"Have a nice day at school!" Kasumi called as the two left, a bright blush colouring her cheeks.

* * *

Akane kept on sneaking looks at her fiancé out of the corner of her eye as they made their way to school. For once, he was walking beside her on the pavement, though Akane never even entertained the idea that his reasons for doing so were romantic.

He looked as if he was standing K.O., his eyelids drooping and his posture slouched as he walked along with his hands buried in his pockets. Even his pigtail was just hanging down limply between his shoulder blades.

"So," she said, more to break the silence than out of any real curiosity. "How was your training trip?"

Ranma gave a grunt. "Busy."

O~kay, Akane thought, that was very informative. "What did you do?"

"Eh, toughness training."

"Did you get any sleep at all?"

"No."

Akane shook her head. She could understand wanting to be the best at martial arts, but she thought that Ranma and Genma were overdoing it. Then again, maybe she'd have better control over her temper if she took her training as seriously as those two did.

She'd had plenty of time to think over the weekend, and had come to several conclusions.

The first, and the conclusion that had taken the longest to arrive at, was that Ranma wasn't a pervert. Sure, he had spanked her and done that thing with his fingers, but really, he'd had no choice. Akane had been acting like a total bitch. That was the second conclusion Akane had reached as she took a good long look at herself. Getting her ass spanked had probably been the only thing drastic enough to make her realise that. And giving her the best orgasm of her life afterwards had actually been kind of nice.

She still thought most boys were jerks and perverts, but maybe Ranma was different. No, Akane decided as she cast another surreptitious glance at her fiancé, he was definitely different. Even if he could still be a major jerk at times.

"Let's get this over with," Ranma mumbled suddenly, breaking Akane out of her thoughts. Looking up, Akane saw that they had already reached school.

As usual, Kuno was ready to greet them at the gates. "Halt! Foul sorcerer! Stand still and let me smite you!"

Ranma ignored the kendoist and just kept on walking. Kuno took that as an invitation to bring his bokken down on Ranma's head as hard as he could, resulting in a broken weapon and no visible injury on Ranma.

Akane gaped. "Is that what his training did?"

"What sorcery is this?" Kuno mumbled as he inspected the broken hilt of his bokken, poking it curiously with a finger.

Seeing the upperclassman with such a stupid look on his face caused Akane to giggle, before she noticed that Ranma was already at the doors leading inside the school. "Hey! Ranma, wait up!"

* * *

Ranma exited the school bleary eyed, barely able to stay awake after his weekend with almost no sleep and a whole day of teachers droning on about one subject or another. Not even the girl-talk that always went on around him had been able to amuse him today.

He was suddenly brought to full awareness as a loud shout rang through the air.

"RANMAAAAA! I've finally found you!"

Ranma's eyes widened and he whirled around. "What the?!" he said, looking around frantically for the owner of that voice.

"What's wro- AH!" Akane said as a strange body crashed into the spot where Ranma had been standing right next her to just an eye blink ago. But Ranma had sensed this new boy just in time and jumped out of the way, back flipping gracefully through the air to land among a small group of students a short distance away.

The new boy was dressed in dark green trousers, a yellow shirt, and wore a yellow and black bandana around his forehead. A huge backpack, almost as big as Akane was tall, was strapped to his back. He stood up from where he had just planted his face into the dirt without so much as a second glance at Akane and turned around, swivelling his head from left to right.

"Ranma, you coward! Where did you go!"

Akane growled, and her eye-brow started twitching as she heard the excited muttering and wild speculations the newcomer's dynamic entrance had caused among the crowd of Furinkan High School.

"Who's that guy? And why's he acting as if Ranma disappeared, he's standing right over there!"

"Who cares about that?! I wanna know why he attacked Ranma!"

"I don't think he was attacking him, I think he was trying to hug him."

"No way! What are you, stupid? Ranma doesn't swing that way! I heard that he's already fucked all three Tendo sisters!"

"All three sisters? That's not what Ishikawa told me. I heard Ranma had to sleep with Akane's father to get his permission to have sex with Akane."

Just as Akane was about to deck this strange new guy for causing such nasty rumours, he threw his head back and screamed.

"RANMA!" The new boy's shout served to silence the muttering going on as everybody turned to watch him. It also saved him from getting beaten into the dirt. "Stop hiding and show yourself!"

"Jeez, Ryoga. Why d'ya always hav'ta be such a drama queen?" Ranma asked as he stepped away from the group of students he had used to hide himself. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he shot Ryoga an irritated scowl. "And what do you want, anyway?"

"Ranma!" Ryoga whirled around. Then he blinked. "Where'd you go?"

Ranma groaned, face-palming as he shook his head. "Still as bad with directions as ever, I see," he said as he walked to where Ryoga and Akane were standing.

Ryoga's face turned beet red. "Shut up! You know about my problem and the trouble it's caused me! It's not funny!"

"Yeah, yeah," Ranma said, waving his hand. "Spare me the sob story. Now tell me why you're here. The last time I saw you was almost a year ago." He pinned Ryoga with an annoyed look. "You didn't even show up for our last duel before I had to go to China! I waited three days for you before my father finally dragged me away! "

"Excuse me," Akane said in a tight voice.

Ranma shot his fiancée a questioning look, blinking when he saw her face. "Uhm, Akane. Are you all right? The right side of your face is kind of... twitching."

"Of course I'm not all right!" Akane screamed. "I almost got crushed by some lunatic that shows up out of the blue and tries to kill my fiancé. And then neither my fiancé nor this lunatic have the decency to INTRODUCE HIM TO ME!"

Ranma scowled as he leaned back to avoid the spittle flying from Akane's mouth. "Jeez, calm down. It's just Ryoga. An old friend from Junior High."

"Fiancée?" Ryoga squeaked.

"Yeah," Ranma sighed, rolling his eyes. "May I introduce? Ryoga, Akane. She's my fiancée. Akane, Ryoga. He's a guy I went to Junior High with."

"She's your fiancée?" Ryoga asked again with a crestfallen look on his face.

Ranma's expression darkened. "Yeah. It was my stupid old man's idea. He and this other guy used to train together under the same master over twenty years ago. They got it in their heads to engage their children to unite their families. Stupid panda..."

"It's no picnic for me either," Akane said, crossing her arms.

Ryoga blinked, then a smile spread across his face. "Ah, so you two don't like each other?"

"Not really."

"Feh!"

Ryoga looked at Ranma and Akane as they stood there with identical postures, their backs straight, arms crossed in front of their chests, neither looking at the other. "That's great!" Ryoga said, his smile broadening.

"Hey! You better not get any ideas." Akane pinned Ryoga with a narrow-eyed look. "I'm not going to go out with you!"

"Why would I want to go out with you?" Ryoga asked with a genuinely confused tone.

"But I thought... That... you... and...." Akane stammered, her face flushing red. "If you don't want to go out with me, then why do you think it's great we don't like each other?!"

"Because that means I still have a chance with Ranma!"

"..."

"..."

Ranma could only stand there and shoot Ryoga incredulous looks, gaping like a fish out of water, while Akane's face became an ever deepening shade of red. Finally, the pressure seemed to become too much for her and she burst out, "My Ranma isn't like that!"

Ryoga blinked. "How do you know that?"

"Because he just isn't! What makes you think he is?"

Ryoga's expression grew dreamy. "He was always so nice to me, walking me to school and back, spending time with me during lunch break when no one else would! I'm sure he did that because he loves me!"

Akane stared at Ryoga long and hard, looking at him as if he had told her the moon was really made of cheese. "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!"

Ranma shook his head as he watched Ryoga and Akane argue back and forth. "You two have fun. I'm outta here," he commented, before he turned around and strolled home.

Ryoga and Akane kept on bickering for five more minutes before they finally realised that the subject of their disagreement was no longer there.

"Hey! Where'd Ranma go?" Akane asked.

Ryoga growled. "That meanie! I wanted to give him the bento I made for him! Ranma, come back here!" he screamed as he started running in the opposite direction Ranma had gone.

"But our home is that way," Akane said, before she shook her head. "Why the hell am I helping that idiot? Good riddance! I hope he falls into a chasm!"

As she ran home she decided to have a talk with Ranma. No way would she allow that Ryoga guy to steal her Ranma away.

* * *

"I'm home!" Akane said as she entered the Tendo dojo. Still panting slightly from sprinting the whole way back, she took off her shoes and made her way to the living room.

"Welcome back, Akane," Kasumi said.

Akane acknowledged her sister's greeting with a nod as she looked around. "Where's Ranma?"

"He's in his room. He said he was tired and wanted to take a nap before dinner." Kasumi frowned when she noticed Akane's flushed face and her rapid breathing. "What happened? Did you get into a fight with Ranma again?"

"What? No!" Akane huffed. "But the jerk did leave without me."

Kasumi bit her lip, her brow furrowing as she appeared to think about something. Evidently, she reached a decision, as indicated by the way she squared her shoulders and the sudden determined look she gave Akane. "Can you come to the kitchen for a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something."

"I ... guess," Akane said, following after her sister with a quizzical look on her face. What could this be about? Was Kasumi going to give her another lecture about her violent tendencies again?

Kasumi immediately set out brewing some tea, though Akane had the impression she was doing so just to keep herself busy. "When Ranma arrived here, I'm afraid Nabiki and I didn't act in the most ... proper manner."

Akane huffed, the memory of that day causing her temper to rise. "You sure didn't! You just foisted him on me like a ratty old dress!"

"I know, and I'm sorry," Kasumi said. "But his curse was just so strange, and it unnerved me a bit." The water had started to boil by then, and Kasumi filled two cups. "I thought about this a lot," she said as she carried the cups to the table where Akane was sitting, "and I came to the conclusion that we shouldn't have acted like that. I think our behaviour created a lot of pressure for you and Ranma, which might be why it doesn't seem to work out between you two."

Akane accepted her cup from Kasumi and started toying with the tea bag, frowning as she listened to Kasumi. "What do you mean?"

Kasumi reached across the table and put her hand on Akane's. "The way you two are fighting all the time. That's not how a healthy relationship works. And then there's the problem you have with boys your age. I don't think forcing you and Ranma together like we did is helping that."

Akane didn't like the direction this conversation was going. "What are you saying?" she demanded, looking her older sister in the eyes. "Do you want me to break the engagement and tell dad and Uncle Genma, 'I'm sorry, but it's just not working out? Sorry for destroying your dreams'?"

"Of course not!" Kasumi said quickly. "But maybe we should think about switching the engagement."

"Oh, I see how it is now!" Akane snatched her hand back and stood up suddenly, sending her chair clattering to the ground. "You want him for yourself!" She said, pointing an accusing finger at Kasumi. "First, his curse makes you uncomfortable and you force him on me like a smelly pair of socks! And now, after we've started to get along, you suddenly decide you made a mistake and want to steal him away from me!"

Kasumi's eyes widened as her mouth fell open. "Tha- that's not how it is!"

"Oh yeah? It sure seems like it to me!"

"Akane! No! I was just concerned."

"Hah!" Akane barked a harsh laugh. "You're not concerned, you're selfish!" She couldn't believe this! First that jerk Ryoga showed up, thinking he had a chance with her Ranma. And now her own sister was trying to steal him away!

"Akane! Would you please calm down," Kasumi said. "I'm not trying to steal Ranma away!"

"Forget it," Akane said as she turned to leave. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"Oh my," Kasumi murmured as she watched Akane walk away.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The characters used herein belong to their respective owner(s). I am simply using them for entertainment purposes and to poke fun. No infringement is intended.

Warning: More explicit smut ahead.

* * *

Nabiki closed her text book with a sigh. "Finally. Stupid English with its stupid irregular verbs."

She stretched, arching her back and extending her arms above her head. Her shirt rose up to expose a teasing amount of flesh as it drew tight against her chest, and the peaks of her breasts were clearly visible.

Too bad there's nobody here to appreciate the view, she thought with a smirk.

A look at the clock revealed that it was almost an hour until dinner.

"Hmm. Maybe I can score a snack."

She pushed back from her desk and stood up, then made her way down to the kitchen, where Kasumi was chopping vegetables.

Nabiki called out a greeting as she walked to the fridge, intent on some chocolate. She thought she deserved a treat after her study session.

Nabiki frowned as she searched the fridge. It seemed as if her chocolate had grown legs and disappeared.

"Hey! Where'd my chocolate go?"

"Oh!" Kasumi whirled around. "Nabiki, you startled me!"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "I called out as I came in. Anyway, do you know what happened to my chocolate?"

Kasumi's cheeks seemed to become rosy. "I needed it for the cake I'm baking for Mast- err, Ranma."

That made Nabiki blink. "Excuse me?" How ... odd. She could have sworn Kasumi had almost called Ranma Master.

Kasumi was definitely blushing by now, but she quickly turned back around, her ponytail swishing behind her, and went back to cutting up vegetables. "I decided to bake a cake and didn't have any icing, so I melted your chocolate and used that instead. I'm sorry, Nabiki, I'll buy you some more tomorrow."

"That's... fine." Nabiki peered at her sister more closely, but aside from the blush there was nothing unusual. Maybe she had imagined that slip. "I'll just have some of your cake instead."

"NO!" Kasumi protested quickly. "The cake is for Ranma!"

Nabiki frowned. Now she definitely knew there was something odd going on here. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing his cake with everybody."

Kasumi blushed even harder at that and averted her head, mumbling something incomprehensible.

"What was that?"

"Aah!" Kasumi jumped. "Nothing!"

Nabiki crossed her arms as she leaned against the fridge. "I could have sworn you said 'I bet' just now."

Kasumi bit her lip, keeping her gaze fixed on the knife in her hand. "N-no, I didn't say anything!"

Nabiki bent forward to peer at her sister more closely, but Kasumi avoided eye contact.

"You're hiding something!" Nabiki exclaimed, one finger pointing accusingly at her sister.

Kasumi let out a frightened squeak and dropped the knife she was holding. She quickly bent down to pick it up but took her sweet time groping around for it on the ground. When she finally stood up again she was a lot more composed. "That's just silly, Nabiki! I'm not hiding anything."

"Then why are you acting so strange?" Nabiki demanded. "And why don't you want anybody but Ranma to eat that cake?"

Kasumi smiled at her sister, the same serene smile she had on her face all the time. "I already told you: You startled me." She giggled. "And the cake is a reward for Ranma."

"A reward for what?"

"For putting up with Akane, of course!"

Nabiki scrutinised her sister for several long moments, but Kasumi's mask was back on and firmly in place, making it impossible to deduce anything from her facial expression.

Finally, Nabiki shook her head, giving up on finding out what her sister's odd behaviour was about. For now.

"Whatever you say." She shrugged. "Guess I'll go back to my room and listen to some music or something until dinner. I only came down here for the chocolate, anyway."

"Oh Nabiki!" Kasumi said as her sister left. "Could you do me a favour and wake up Ranma?"

"Sure thing, sis."

Nabiki frowned as she walked up the stairs, still trying to make sense of Kasumi's odd behaviour just now.

Things had been weird ever since the Saotomes had shown up.

Akane had become a lot more violent and short-tempered, treating Ranma even worse than she treated Kuno-baby, despite knowing that Ranma would take violent exception to that. It was almost as if she wanted him to beat her.

Hah, Nabiki thought, as if! Her little sister wouldn't let any boy touch her, let alone allow some macho jerk like Ranma to beat her up. It was just silly.

A small amount of doubt remained, however, niggling quietly yet insistently at the back of Nabiki's mind. Like a leaking faucet that just wouldn't let you sleep at night.

Kasumi had started to act differently as well. She went out of her way to always have hot water for Ranma to change back with, and Nabiki had even heard her scold Akane over her behaviour towards Ranma the day after the Saotomes had arrived. Now she was baking cake for him.

Sure, Kasumi was nice, Nabiki thought, but she usually wasn't that nice.

Then there were the strange noises she had heard coming from Akane's room a few days ago. Almost as if somebody had been in there and scolding her, followed by what had sounded like a spanking. And there had also been that loud scream afterwards. It had sounded almost as if Akane had just experienced the best climax of her life.

But that was silly! Akane had probably just been overly enthusiastic in her work-out and had stubbed her toe, or something.

Nabiki had checked, and her dad and Mister Saotome had been on the porch playing shogi. So it couldn't have been any of them who had scolded her. That left only Ranma, and he had made it abundantly clear that he didn't think too highly of Akane. There was no way he'd ever go into her room.

Nabiki slowed her ascent of the stairs as another thought came to her.

Akane had been a lot nicer to Ranma today. So much so that there had been talk among the students at Furinkan High.

What if it had been Ranma in Akane's room? What if he had scolded her, and spanked her? What if he had given her what had sounded like the mother of all orgasms? It would certainly explain her sudden change in attitude.

Nabiki shook her head, about to tell herself that she was being silly, when she remembered the noises coming from the bathroom she had heard later that night.

She had dismissed them as just her imagination at the time, but now she wasn't so sure. There had been a lot of moaning, slapping and screaming, and Nabiki could have sworn one of the voices had belonged to Kasumi.

The mercenary girl froze suddenly as all the pieces clicked into place.

"A thank-you for putting up with Akane my ass!" she hissed.

They had both already sampled the goods and taken a ride on their studly fiancé! And they didn't even have the guts to tell her about it!

Checking her watch, Nabiki saw that it was still almost forty-five minutes until dinner. "That's enough time for a quickie."

Her decision made, the mercenary girl quickly walked towards the guest room and snuck inside, careful not to make a sound. She silently closed the door behind her and turned around to cast an appreciative gaze over Ranma's sleeping form.

The pigtailed young man lay spread-eagled on his futon. He had kicked off the covers some time during his nap, and the only thing separating Nabiki from her prize were the tank top and boxer shorts he was wearing.

Nabiki quietly padded across the room and knelt down beside Ranma. "Now let's see what you're hiding, Saotome," she muttered as her hand reached towards the slit in his boxers.

* * *

Ranma awoke to a rather pleasant feeling of warmth in his lower extremities.

Letting out a low moan, still more than half asleep, he decided to just enjoy that sensation.

As he grew more awake he became aware that the nice feeling was centred on his groin. It was most intense on his dick, which seemed to be surrounded by something tight and slippery and soft, and spread to his thighs, which felt as if they were covered with a heating blanket.

He had always liked that particular feeling.

Wait, always? When had he felt like this before?

He frowned as he tried to remember when it was he had felt like this. He had the nagging feeling that remembering it was rather important.

He went stiff as a board as it suddenly came to him.

Fuck!

He had wet his bed! His father was never going to let him live this down! The fat panda had been unbearable the last time this had happened, only Ranma wasn't a seven year old boy anymore.

Just as Ranma wished for the ground to open up and swallow him something slippery and hot swiped across the head of his cock.

Wait a minute, that doesn't feel like that time, Ranma thought. In fact it feels like...

His eyes shot open as he bolted upwards to a sitting position, snapping his right arm towards his crotch to pull Kasumi's mouth off his cock.

Only it wasn't Kasumi he was manhandling by her hair.

"Nabiki!?" Ranma asked, staring stupidly at the girl that was grimacing up at him from between his legs.

"Well, this isn't quite the reaction I was hoping for," Nabiki deadpanned.

Ranma quickly let her go and scooted back. "I, err, uhm, I mean, I'm sorry!" he stammered before he shook off his confusion. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I thought it was fairly obvious, Saotome."

Ranma blinked. "Err, right."

"Now, I wasn't quite finished..." Nabiki shot him a catty grin as she crawled towards his crotch.

"Hey!" Ranma held out his palm. "Wait a minute! You can't just come in here and molest me!"

"Oh please." Nabiki rolled her eyes. "It's a bit late to play coy now, Saotome. I heard what you did to Akane and Kasumi."

Ranma stared at her. "You, you did?"

"Mhmm." She nodded with a smile. "And I want you to do the same thing to me."

"..." Ranma just continued staring at her. She couldn't be serious, could she?

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Ranma shook his head to clear it. "You want me to spank you too?"

"What?! NO!" Nabiki stared at him as if he had grown horns. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

Ranma just looked down at dick sticking out of the fly of his boxers, then let his eyes travel upwards until they rested on Nabiki, posing provocatively between his legs, and back again.

Nabiki pulled back. "Okay, so I'm trying to get you in the mood." She spread her hands. "That doesn't mean I want you to bend me over your knee and slap my ass!"

"But that's what I did to Kasumi and Akane!"

Nabiki froze. "Okay, I knew that you had spanked Akane, but not about Kasumi," she said after a few moments, "and frankly, I didn't want to know that."

Ranma grimaced in sympathy. If he had siblings he wouldn't want to know what kind of kinks they were into either. "Sorry, but you had me confused there for a moment."

"Eh, no harm done." Nabiki shrugged. "Now, where were we? Oh yes."

She started crawling forward again, but this time she bent her upper body down as she did so, almost pressing her her chest against the floor. The loose collar of her shirt fell open, giving Ranma a very nice view of her two breasts. They shifted alluringly with every move Nabiki made, and Ranma noticed for the first time that Nabiki wasn't wearing a bra.

This position also drew attention to her firm and shapely buttocks. Her pair of shorts hugged them tightly, allowing Ranma to see every little wiggle of the firm globes, which shifted enticingly every time she crawled closer. And there were no panty lines either.

Nabiki smiled at him as he stared at her with his mouth hanging open. "But like I said, I didn't come here to get spanked, I came here to make love."

"Whu?"

She crawled between his legs until she reached his crotch, then she sat up a bit and leaned forward, her mouth brushing against Ranma's ear. "I'm all wet and oh so horny," she purred. "And I've always dreamed my first time would be with a hot, experienced guy like you."

Ranma went rigid, the sensation of her hot breath against his neck combined with her words sending shivers down his spine.

"Come on, stud." Nabiki bit into his ear lobe. "I want you to make me scream like you did my sisters."

She started trailing kisses along his face, starting at his ear and going down his jaw-bone, then licked his chin before she locked her lips with his.

Ranma finally shook himself out of his stupor as he felt Nabiki's warm tongue invading his mouth. He put his arms around her, drawing her against his chest, and started returning her kiss with enthusiasm.

Nabiki shifted her position. She threw her arms around his shoulders as she sat down in his lap, her legs on either side of Ranma's hips, making the martial artist groan as he felt her crotch press against his hard shaft.

Ranma shifted his arms, caressing Nabiki's spine as he trailed his right arm down her back to grab her ass, his left arm encircling her shoulders to press her even tighter against his chest.

Nabiki moaned. Breaking the kiss, she threw her head back, exposing her long slender neck as Ranma stretched the fingers of his right hand to rub along her hot core. She balled her fingers into fists, her nails digging through Ranma's muscle shirt and scratching his back.

Ranma couldn't resist the allure of her creamy neck and latched onto it with his mouth. He moaned as he sucked, kissed and nibbled it all over. The taste of Nabiki's skin and sweat was like the sweetest nectar to him, he couldn't get enough of it.

"Damn!" Nabiki twitched as Ranma hit a particularly sensitive spot, rubbing her crotch harder against his manhood. "You're good at this."

Ranma shut her up with a kiss and leaned forward, dropping Nabiki on the floor. He grabbed her left thigh with his hand lifted her leg as he humped his cock against the heat radiating from between her legs.

This was completely new territory for the pigtailed martial artist. His earlier encounters with Kasumi and Akane had been nothing like this. There was no anger or frustration involved, just two people giving in to their attraction to each other.

Ranma broke their kiss and grabbed the hem of Nabiki's shirt. Before the stupefied girl could do more than blink, he had already taken it off and was staring at her perky breasts.

"So beautiful," Ranma murmured before he latched onto Nabiki's left breast with his mouth, raining kisses all around it as he squeezed it with his hand. His right hand grabbed her left breast, and Ranma began to trail his fingers around her nipple in feather light caresses.

"Oh god," Nabiki gasped when Ranma started sucking her hard nipple, his tongue leaving white-hot trails of spit as it circled her diamond hard nub. She threw her head back and grabbed his hair with both her hands, pressing him tighter against her chest, and started to thrust her hips up against his cock.

"Please, Ranma," she whimpered. "Now!"

Ranma kept his lips around her nipple as he lifted his hips a bit, his right hand letting go of her breast to take off her shorts. He groaned, pressing his forehead against Nabiki's chest as his dick made contact with her hot pussy for the time, the lips parting along his shaft as he thrust between her legs.

"God! Stop teasing me, please!"

Ranma hooked her left knee in the crook of his elbow and pushed her leg back, spreading her open for him as he positioned his cock for penetration. He missed her opening at his first attempts as Nabiki kept on thrusting her hips uncontrollably, but then he finally managed to sink the tip of his cock inside her.

Both let out gasps as Ranma's hard cock entered Nabiki's hot cunt.

Ranma closed his eyes and bit his lip to control himself. Nabiki's cunt felt even better than Kasumi's! He had only the head of his dick buried inside her, and already the feeling of her hot and slippery walls massaging it was threatening to make him cum.

Nabiki humped her hips upward, enveloping a few more inches of his cock with her clasping vessel. "Do it! Please, I need it! Make love to me, Ranma!"

Hearing her words, Ranma stopped trying to hold himself back and began thrusting his dick in and out.

It was incredible. His system was getting overloaded with pleasure, and Ranma found himself rapidly approaching his orgasm. He had heard that you were supposed to be able to hold out longer the more often you had sex, yet here he was about to fire off inside Nabiki after just a few thrusts.

But he couldn't help it. His dick appeared to be more sensitive to the sensations of the hot cunt rippling along its length than it had been that night in the bathroom. No matter how hard he tried to hold out, he just kept crawling closer and closer to the edge.

Nabiki bit into Ranma's shoulder, a muffled wail escaping her mouth as the martial artist established a rhythm. She did her best to coordinate her movements with his, thrusting her hips up when he pushed down and pulling her hips back when he withdrew. She whimpered every time Ranma buried his cock all the way inside, her hands clutching his shirt tighter as she bit down into his shoulder.

For Ranma it was all getting too much. Feeling Nabiki's breasts against his chest, her hard nipples scorching him through his shirt as they rubbed along his front with every thrust, feeling her pussy getting tighter and hotter around his cock every time he buried himself inside her was overwhelming him and he began hammering his cock in and out of Nabiki's scorching hot vessel.

He was beyond any self-control now, only interested in achieving his release as he picked up speed.

Finally, it was there, a white-hot feeling of pleasure that started in the base his dick and rushed up his spine to explode in a supernova of ecstasy in his brain.

Just as his dick swelled even further in preparation for firing his seed, Ranma felt Nabiki stiffen beneath him. She wailed into his shoulder as she was wracked with uncontrollable shudders, her body twitching all over as her cunt rippled along his cock and squirted its juices into his lap.

Every time he fired a spurt of his cum inside her Nabiki's orgasm seemed to grow in intensity, her hips bucking and twitching even more wildly as her spasming cunt sucked up his seed, squirting out copious amount of Nabiki's own cum in exchange.

Finally, it was over, and the two lovers lay panting on Ranma's futon, Nabiki still twitching occasionally from aftershocks of her orgasm as she rested beneath him.

Once he had regained his breath, Ranma rolled off her to lie beside her, throwing one arm around Nabiki's shoulder and drawing her against his chest.

"Wow..."

"Mmm." Nabiki nuzzled her face into the crook of Ranma's neck with a dreamy expression. "You can say that again."

Ranma wasn't able to enjoy his afterglow for very long, however, as Nabiki suddenly sat up and started looking around.

"What is it?"

"Where are my shorts?" Nabiki asked as she put on her shirt.

Ranma frowned, trying to recall what he had done with them. "I don't know. I think I tossed them away earlier."

Nabiki lightly kicked his side. "Then stop lying there and get up and help me look for them!"

Ranma sighed and got up, stuffing his dick back inside his shorts. "Why are you in such a hurry to get dressed and leave anyway?" he asked, lifting one corner of his father's futon to look for her shorts. As if they could have ended up there!

"Because dinner will be ready soon and we still have to get cleaned up and get dressed!" Nabiki explained. "Hah! Found them."

Ranma grabbed his own clothes from earlier. "Eh, I'll just take a bath after dinner."

"Don't be stupid!" Nabiki said as she slipped her shorts back on. "We both reek of sex, and I'm not really in the mood for an interrogation."

Ranma froze with one leg in his trousers. "Err, I guess you have a point. So, do you want to go first?"

"Yep. I'll just grab a change of clothes from my room and then wash up quickly. The bath should be ready for you in about five minutes." She bounced over to Ranma and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "See you later!" she called as she skipped out of his room.

Ranma smiled as he stared at her wiggling ass. "Right. Later."

* * *

"There you are, boy! Everyone's been waiting for you. Get your lazy ass in here so we can finally eat!" Genma said when Ranma came into the dining room.

Ranma rolled his eyes. He wasn't even going to bother with a reply to his old man's stupid remark. The greedy old panda always became crabby when his meals were delayed.

Tch, you'd think he hasn't eaten in weeks, he thought as he walked to his seat.

As soon as Ranma had taken his usual spot next to Akane at the table, dinner proceeded as usual.

Ranma and his father fought over their food, their chopsticks blurring across the table as both tried to steal the other's dinner while defending their own and tossing the occasional insult back and forth between hasty gulps.

Before her spanking, Akane had pitched in with her own insults aimed at Ranma, but she was staying out of it today. Every now and then she'd open her mouth, only to snap it shut again and resume eating, stealing glances at Ranma out of the corner of her eyes when she thought he wasn't looking.

Ranma decided to ignore her and concentrated on relieving his father of as much of his food as he could. He had to admit that Akane was showing some genuine effort in curbing in her attitude, and drawing attention to her stolen glances would only result in giving their old men ideas.

The rest of the household had by now learned to ignore the Saotomes' strange ritual and kept up a normal dinner conversation, talking about what they had done during the day. Nabiki and Akane told about their days at school, and Kasumi pitched in every now and then with a question or a joking comment. Soun was silent for the most part, only occasionally adding a grunted comment.

It was rather nice, Ranma thought as he deflected his father's chopsticks. It was almost as if they were a normal family. At first things had felt a bit weird to him, as it had always been just him and his father for as long as he could remember, and having to adjust to living with four other people in the same house had not been easy, but he was used to it now and found he actually liked it.

"Mm, that was delicious, Kasumi!" Ranma said once all the food had been annihilated. The others all quickly voiced their agreement, making Kasumi blush.

"Oh, it was nothing special."

Ranma certainly thought otherwise. Compared to the crappy meals his father had prepared during their trip, Kasumi's food was worthy of five stars. Still, he knew Kasumi well enough by now to know that any further arguments would only embarrass her.

"Ya want any help with the dishes?"

"Oh no, that's fine, Ranma. You're a guest here."

This was another ritual they repeated after every meal. Ranma always asked if Kasumi needed any help, more out of politeness than any real desire to make himself useful, and Kasumi always declined the offer. Since Ranma wasn't very eager to wash dishes he always let the matter drop quickly.

"All right. Then I think I'll turn in early, I still have to catch up on some sleep," he said as he got up. "Thanks for dinner, Kasumi!"

"But don't you want to eat the cake I baked for you?"

That got Ranma's attention. "Cake? What kind of cake?"

"A chocolate cake! I made it just this afternoon."

"Well, in that case..." Ranma said as he quickly sat back down.

"Hah! The perfect dessert for the perfect meal," Soun said. "You always take such good care of us, Kasumi."

"Quite right, Tendo," Genma said, nodding his head as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "A nice chocolate cake sounds perfect after the delicious meal we just had!"

"Bu- but..."

"I'd love some of your cake, big sister!" Akane smiled. "Your cakes are the best. They're always so much better than mine. I don't know how you do it..." she trailed off, frowning as she started muttering about ingredients that always went bad when she wanted to cook.

"**NO!**"

The world seemed to stand still as everybody sitting at the table froze, then turned as one to shoot Kasumi questioning looks.

Kasumi blushed and lowered her head. "I, uhm, I mean..." she stammered, her hands gripping her apron as her eyes darted across the room. "The cake is for Ranma. I made it especially for him."

Now Ranma was the one to blush as everybody turned to look at him. He had a pretty good idea why she had decided to bake him a special cake, and while he found it quite nice – no girl had ever baked a cake for him – he would have preferred if she had decided to make him a special bento instead. That would have spared him the suspicious and angry looks he was receiving now.

"Hehe, that's quite all right." Ranma scratched the back of his head, feeling small beads of sweat gathering on his brow. "I don't mind sharing."

A low growl came from his left just after he said that, and Ranma chanced a look at Akane out of the corner of his eyes. His fiancée was scowling, her face reddened and lips pressed into a thin line, and had her hands balled into fists as she glowered at Kasumi.

"That's my boy!" Genma said. "Always willing to share with his dear old father! It almost brings a tear to my eyes."

Soun blinked. "There you have it, Kasumi! We'll all have a piece of cake, since Ranma doesn't mind."

"But-" Kasumi tried to protest.

"Are you feeling all right?" Nabiki asked, blinking innocently. "You've been acting quite oddly the last few days."

"What? No! I'm fine!"

"Then you surely won't mind if Ranma shares his cake with us, right?" Nabiki pinned her sister with a shrewd look. "After all, isn't family supposed to share?" she asked, her lips twitching into a smirk.

The growling from his left became louder after Nabiki's comment, and Ranma shot Akane a frown. His fiancée raised her chin in defiance and opened her mouth – no doubt to make some stupid remark.

Not in the mood to deal with his fiancée in bitch mode, Ranma decided to cut her off before she could do more than draw in air. His left arm shot forward faster than an untrained observer could see and connected with his fiancée's behind. Akane started, back stiffening, and turned her head towards Ranma. Seeing his look, she blushed bright red and lowered her head. .

Satisfied that Akane would behave herself, Ranma took a quick look around. Once it was clear that nobody had noticed his impromptu spanking he released a sigh.

"Indeed!" Soun nodded. "Let's not fight over this!"

"Quite right!"

Opening and closing her mouth repeatedly, Kasumi shot Ranma a pleading look.

Ranma just shrugged. What was he supposed to do? "It's all right," he said. "I really don't mind."

Kasumi deflated. "Okay. If that's what you all think, then I'll just go and get the cake." She turned around and walked into the kitchen with sagging shoulders and a bowed head.

Ranma felt a pang of guilt as he watched Kasumi's defeated posture, but he quickly shrugged it off. It was her own fault. Maybe the next time she'd think twice before putting him on the spot like that.

His mouth watered when Kasumi came back a few moments later, carrying a chocolate cake that smelled and looked better than anything he'd known so far. It was made of three tiers, a chocolate mousse filling sandwiched between sponge bases and iced with chocolate glazing.

She quickly put it on the table and sat down, blushing bright red and averting her eyes.

Everyone leaned forward eagerly towards the cake. Then they suddenly froze and turned questioning looks towards Kasumi again.

Ranma had to suppress a groan when he saw the reason for everyone's stares.

There was a heart. A big red heart. Drawn in icing on top of the cake.

As the Tendos and his father turned their gazes towards him Ranma shot up from his seat. "You know, I'm not really hungry anymore! Hehehe! Good night!" Not giving them the opportunity to say anything else, Ranma dashed out of the room and up the stairs.

Once he was safely inside the guest room he closed the door behind himself and dropped down on his futon. Rolling onto his back, he stared at the ceiling and groaned.

"I am in soo much trouble."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The characters used herein belong to their respective owner(s). I am simply using them for entertainment purposes and to poke fun. No infringement is intended.

* * *

Sleeping was usually one of Ranma's favourite pastimes. In his sleep he was able to completely relax and recharge his mental batteries.

Having been brought up to be the best martial artist from infancy, Ranma had led a very stressful and taxing life – both physically and mentally. His father had always been a very strict teacher, demanding complete focus during their training sessions; something that had been very hard for Ranma to do when he had been but a wee boy. Like all little boys, he had been easily distracted by the most inane things, like a fly buzzing around his head or the texture of a tree bark.

But, through constant training and reprimands, Genma had managed to drill this level of focus into Ranma's head. While other boys had been out playing with their friends and trying to see whether tree sap tasted as good as it looked, Ranma had been practising kata and meditation until he had collapsed from mental and physical exhaustion.

As he had grown older and become better at maintaining the intense mental discipline his father had demanded, Ranma had been allowed to relax and play from time to time. That time had been short, however, as he had then been sent to school, where he had been expected to keep up that level of focus all day in order to do well.

This, in turn, had led Ranma to making the most of his breaks, and, more often than not, he had gotten in trouble for his hyper-active shenanigans with his teachers, which had earned him harsher training sessions.

So Ranma had learned early on to cherish the time spent in the magical land of sleep, where he could truly relax and be as rambunctuous as he wanted, and, probably as a result of his harsh life, he had learned to control his dreams.

Usually, Ranma dreamt about pleasant things, like gorging himself on an ice-cream sundae the size of Mount Fuji or beating his father into a pulp. Lately, his dreams had gotten wetter and more sexual.

But, from time to time, Ranma, like everybody, was plagued by nightmares. Those usually came after a particularly stressful or upsetting day. Like the night after he had fallen into the cursed spring at Jusenkyo, for example. That had been one of his worst nights ever.

Unfortunately, the day before had been such a particularly upsetting day. Or maybe it was just the last day in a string of upsetting days. Whatever the case may be, it led to Ranma not sleeping very well.

"Ngh, get yer hands off me, Kuno!" Ranma mumbled. He was frowning in his sleep and sweating heavily as he twisted and turned in his futon.

"No! Don't touch me there! I don't like it! No! I don't love you, I'm not a girl! I don't don't wanna marry you!"

He grew increasingly more restless as his dream got worse.

"Hey! What do you think you're doin'? Stop takin' off my clothes! No! Don't put that there! No! GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

WHAP!

Ranma shot up, blinking rapidly and rubbing the spot on his head where his father had hit him with one of the signs he used to communicate when he was in his cursed panda form.

_Quiet, boy! I need my beauty sleep! _

Ranma shot his father's sleeping form a scowl but refrained from retaliating. The old man had woken him up from a pretty bad nightmare, after all. He'd let it slide just this once. Ranma got up and got dressed, then went out to clear his mind with a long, intense work-out.

He lost himself in the intricate pattern of stances, blocks, punches and kicks of an advanced Anything Goes kata, welcoming the intense mental focus needed to perform it flawlessly as he forgot about his nightmare.

A door slammed loudly, breaking Ranma out of his trance. Drenched in sweat and panting heavily, he turned and saw Akane leaving the house for her usual morning run. Ranma decided he'd had enough of a workout and went inside to take a long bath.

Since it was still early, Ranma decided to get caught up on the school work he hadn't been able to do over the weekend. Grabbing his school bag from the guest room, he made his way downstairs.

When he entered the dining room he had almost completely forgotten about his nightmare.

"Oh! Good morning, Ranma-kun!" Kasumi greeted him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Not really, but thanks for asking." Ranma smiled at her, his mood greatly improved after his satisfying work-out and bath. He took his customary seat and got started on his work.

"Would you like some tea?"

"Sounds great! Thanks, Kasumi," Ranma said without taking his eyes off his biology book.

Focused on his school work, Ranma was only dimly aware of his surroundings. He noticed the rest of the household stumbling in one by one on the outskirts of his conscious mind and thought he heard the door bell ring, but didn't pay attention to any of it.

His concentration was interrupted, however, when a fly landed on his thigh. He shook his leg, trying to get it off, but it just wouldn't budge. In the end, Ranma simply decided to give up and ignore it as he went back to reading about Japanese history.

"Ranma!" Kasumi called out as she came walking in, and Ranma wondered when she had left and how he had missed that, carrying a package in her arms. "A package has just been delivered for you!"

Ranma blinked, finally setting his books aside. With some surprise he noted that everybody else was already eating and that it wasn't a fly sitting on his thigh, but rather Akane's hand. Akane, who was sitting a lot closer to him today. Any closer and she'd be sitting on his lap. He resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose as he recognised the possessive gesture for what it was.

Who would have thought that getting a fiancée and finally having sex would lead to this much complication?

Deciding that it was too early to deal with this, he ignored it and turned his gaze on Kasumi. "Who's it from?"

"I don't know. But it's from China."

Ranma perked up at that. He only knew one person in China that would bother to send him mail. He got up, dislodging Akane's possessive grip on his thigh, and took the package from Kasumi.

"Hah! I knew it! It's from Cologne!" Ranma said. He quickly sat back down with the package and opened it.

"Who's Cologne?" Nabiki asked. "A lover you left back in China?"

Ranma had to pause in his inspection of the package's contents as a violent shudder ran through his body. "That's ... eww! That's just gross." He shuddered again as this particular bit of offensive mental imagery refused to leave his mind.

"She's this shrivelled up old Chinese Amazon woman. We spent a few weeks at her village, and she taught Ranma some of their martial arts," Genma explained for his son.

"Ooh, Chinese Amazons, sounds exciting!" Kasumi said.

"Yes, well, we got into a bit of trouble with them at first, but it worked out in the end."

"What kind of trouble?" Nabiki asked.

"Sweet!" Ranma exclaimed, interrupting his father's explanation. "She sent us some water proof soap and instant curses!" He shot up from his seat and dashed outside before anybody could say anything else. Stopping at the edge of the pond, he ripped one of the packages open and dumped its contents into the pond.

"My koi!" Soun screamed. "What are you doing?"

Ranma ignored him, and with a loud cry of "Woohoo!" he jumped into the pond.

The others ran after him, stopping at the edge of the pond. Genma bent down to pick up the discarded package. "Spring of drowned Man! Hah! With this, we won't turn into our cursed forms for a while!"

Quickly taking off his clothes, Genma hopped towards the pond on one leg, but Akane grabbed his arm, holding him back. "Shouldn't he have come back up by now?"

As if in response to Akane's question, Ranma's clothes floated to the surface.

"That can't be a good sign," Nabiki said.

Akane bit her lip as she stared worriedly at the water's surface. "I hope Ranma is all right!"

"My, aren't you the caring fiancé all of a sudden." Nabiki sneered.

"Bwee!"

The group blinked and looked down, where a small, black, pot-bellied piglet sat between two stones.

"Iiiie!" Letting out a loud squeal, Kasumi rushed forward and scooped the piglet up. "Oooh, aren't you just the cutest little thing?" she gushed, cuddling the piglet, its head squished firmly between her breasts.

Soun blinked his eyes and opened and closed his mouth several times, before he turned towards Genma. "What happened, Saotome?"

"I don't know, Tendo!" Genma said, looking just as baffled as his old friend.

Akane blinked. "Ran ... ma?"

Nabiki shrugged. "Only one way to find out," she said and turned to go inside. She came back a few moments later with a kettle of hot water, which she dumped over the piglet.

The piglet did indeed transform back into Ranma, first changing colour and then rapidly expanding its body mass, forcing Kasumi to shift her grip. When the transformation was complete, she was clutching a very human and very much naked Ranma in her arms, still with his head pressed between her breasts.

"It didn't have to be quite that hot, you know," he grumbled.

Soun cleared his throat. "You can let go of my daughter now," he said when neither Ranma nor Kasumi showed any inclination to change their position.

Ranma blinked as he slowly realised his position. "Gah!" He broke Kasumi's grip and seemed to teleport next to his father.

The Tendo home maker pouted. "But I liked cuddling with mas-, I mean Ranma."

"Now, Kasumi, you know that Ranma is Akane's fiancée," Sound said in a stern but gentle tone.

"Hmpf!" Akane scowled, crossing her arms as she looked pointedly away from Ranma and Kasumi. "As if I care! I'm going inside to finish breakfast!"

"Shit!" Ranma cursed. "I still need to eat and now I have to take another bath!" Running after his fiancée, he went to his room to grab a change of clothes before taking another quick bath. Then he rushed downstairs to gobble down his food, almost inhaling it in his rush. He noted with some discontent that both Nabiki and Akane had already left for school by then and quickly finished eating.

"See you later, Kasumi!" he called out as he rushed outside to catch up to them.

* * *

Ranma immediately noticed the heavy mass of dark, menacing clouds that hung low in the sky as he closed the gate behind himself. "Fuck!" he cursed. "Gotta get to school before it starts raining!"

He picked up the pace, kicking up a dust cloud in his wake as he broke out into a run. It was just his luck that the weather forecast would be dead wrong on the day he had taken a dunking in a pool of instant drowned piglet water. He really should stop worrying about how dorky it might look and just start carrying an umbrella.

Half-way to school he saw Akane and Nabiki. They were walking side by side, though with enough distance between them that you could drive a bus through, and neither was even looking at the other.

Ranma frowned. He was pretty sure he knew the reason for the bad blood between the two sisters and had to admit that maybe it hadn't been his best decision to have sex with both sisters of the girl he was engaged to, and who seemed to be developing a crush on him.

Then again, the sex had been awesome and he'd probably do it again if he got the chance. Akane would just have to learn to deal with it. She certainly wasn't in any position to play the role of jealous fiancée, not after the vocal way she had been protesting their engagement. And besides, Ranma thought to himself with a smirk, he was way too good a catch to limit himself to just one girl.

Nodding to himself, pleased with his reasoning, Ranma picked up the pace once more.

"Sorry! Gotta run! Don't wanna get wet!" he called out to the two sisters as he passed them.

Thirty seconds later the gates of Furinkan High School came into view, and Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed as if he had managed to make it to school without turning into a pig. That would have been inconvenient.

Just as he ran through the gates, a bokken suddenly appeared in his field of vision, swinging straight towards his head. Ranma tried to slow down and bend himself backwards to dodge it, but his momentum was too great. He managed to avoid the attack but ended up tumbling across the pavement.

Ranma scowled and spat out some dirt. "Kuno," he muttered. It figured. The one day he really didn't want to deal with the bokken wielding idiot, he had to show up.

Ranma got up slowly, carefully and methodically brushing the dirt off his clothes before facing the kendoist. "I'm sorry, Kuno," he said, trying to put as much reserved politeness into his voice as he could. The fact that it was that annoying buffon Kuno he was addressing like this made that quite difficult, however, and even to Ranma's own ears it didn't sound very convincing, "but today's really not good for me. I'll beat you up again tomorrow." He turned to go inside, and had to duck and roll as Kuno attacked him again.

"I care not for convenience! I am here to punish you for daring to interfere in my romance with the fierce Akane Tendo and for keeping the pigtailed girl away from me!"

Ranma grit his teeth as he continued to evade Kuno's rapid stabs. The guy might have been a moron, but he was pretty good with a bokken. It took quite a bit of focus to avoid his slashes and the air pressure attacks they generated. Sure, Ranma could just stand still and let himself get hit - thanks to the recent training he had endured he probably wouldn't even feel it - but that would pose problems in the long run. He couldn't rely on his toughness and let his defence and agility slack off. You never knew when you were forced to fight a guy with monstrous strength and the skill needed to land a hit.

Finally, after shuffling across the school yard for a good thirty seconds, dodging and weaving around Kuno's attacks, Ranma spotted an opening in Kuno's attack pattern and moved to strike back. Picking up speed, he got past Kuno's bokken and inside his guard. Ranma decided to forego any flashy moves today and immediately began striking at Kuno's vital spots, disabling him in less than two seconds.

"I ... fight ... on," Kuno croaked.

"Yeah, yeah." Ranma waved his hand. "I've heard it all before." He turned to finally make it inside the school building and to safety, but was stopped by Akane.

"Ranma! Wait up!" she called as she walked through the gates.

Ranma paused and looked up, considering. The clouds had held in their rain for this long, what could waiting for his fiancée hurt? It might even smooth her ruffled feathers somewhat.

He turned back to wait for his fiancée, and saw her expression change to one of horror. He got a sinking feeling in his gut, which got confirmed a moment later as he felt the first drops of rain falling on his head.

"Oh crap!"

The sky suddenly opened up with a torrential downpour, instantly drenching Ranma and triggering his curse. He felt his body transform and his perspective shift to that of a small piglet as he was buried underneath his clothes. Silently cursing, Ranma started trying to find a way out of his silken prison.

"Oh no! Ranma!" he heard Akane call, followed by Kuno's voice.

"What's this?"

Ranma was grabbed by two big hands that pulled him out of the tent his shirt had turned into. Looking up, he found himself peering into Kuno's inquisitive eyes.

"Kuno!" Akane said. "Give him to me!"

"Him?" The kendoist frowned. "You mean to tell me that this is the foul Saotome?"

"Yes! It's a curse! He turns into a pig with cold water."

"Cursed to turn into a pig?" Kuno asked, his brow furrowing deeply as he stared at the small black piglet in his hands. "How ... peculiar. And oddly fitting. For the shameless womaniser Saotome to be forced to turn into the animal his character resembles most closely. Hah!"

"What?" Akane sputtered for a few moments before she screeched, "How dare you!"

Her arm cocked back, she ran towards the kendoist, who only blinked in confusion. The stupid face Kuno made would have been quite funny, Ranma decided, if he weren't a pig right now. Then Akane's fist collided with Kuno's face, squishing his lips and cheeks. She followed that attack up by aiming a hard kick at Kuno's most tender area – right between the legs. Ranma winced in sympathetic pain, then snickered inwardly as Kuno went cross-eyed, whimpering like a kicked dog, before he keeled over like a sack of rice. Akane didn't seem to be done though, and she proceeded to pummel the whimpering kendoist until he was a mass of bruises.

"Hmpf! That'll teach you!" She said, dusting off her hands as she threw one disgusted look at Kuno. "No one talks about my Ranma like that!" Bending down, she plucked Ranma out of Kuno's sweaty hands and turned to go inside. "Don't worry, Ranma," she cooed, "I'll get you some hot water."

Ranma sighed as Akane carried him inside. He had a feeling this was going to be a bad day.

* * *

Ranma had never noticed the size of Akane's breasts before. Maybe it was because he was a small pig right now, but they seemed to be pretty large. And soft. And they smelled really nice. Her hands felt also pretty good as they gently cradled and stroked him.

_Heh, seems turning into a pig does have its advantages_, he thought. He decided to make the most of his temporary curse for now and just enjoy himself. After all, temporary curses wore off after a few hours, and once he was back in his human form he wouldn't have to worry about turning into a pig again. He'd be sitting in class where getting splashed with cold water was incredibly unlikely.

"Here you go, Ranma," Akane said a short while later.

Ranma turned his focus away from all the pleasant sensations enveloping him in a cocoon of relaxation as his fiancée set him down. Taking a look around, Ranma's senses were assaulted by white. White walls, a white ceiling, and white tiles adorning the floor and all the walls around them.

Ranma was getting a very bad feeling. It settled into his stomach like a ball of lead. He almost didn't dare to avert his eyes from the spot on the ceiling he had been staring at once he had started getting suspicious of his surroundings. His curiosity won out though and he tore his gaze away from the ceiling.

His suspicions were immediately confirmed as he spotted several stalls with toilets on one side. A look down and to the side revealed that he was sitting on a counter with three sinks, liquid soap dispensers and paper towels.

So they were inside a rest room, no surprise there, really. And since it was Akane that had carried him inside, they were in the girl's rest room. As bad as his feeling about this was, he couldn't really fault Akane for taking him here. Where else would she be able to get him some warm water to turn back while also providing him with a modicum of privacy?

"You know, it's a shame that class starts so soon." Ranma turned his attention back to his fiancée as she spoke again. "You're a really cute little piggie. I'm almost tempted to keep you like that for a bit longer."

Ranma's eyes widened. She wouldn't, would she? He hoped not. He did not want to stay a pig one second longer than necessary.

Akane giggled. "I was joking, silly." Shaking her head, she ran some hot water into a sink. "Here you go."

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, though he was also a bit annoyed. No matter how cute Akane thought he was as a pig, it wasn't much fun for him. The only advantage to getting turned into a small black pig was that girls seemed to get the overwhelming urge to cradle him against their chest, and Ranma knew for a fact that girls would do that to him even if he was human, so it wasn't much of an advantage at all.

Maybe he should turn her into a pig and see how she liked it.

The sink had been half filled with hot water by then, and Ranma prepared himself to jump into it, but a sudden thought made him hesitate. He'd gain a lot of mass when he turned back, and he did not want to get his ass stuck in the sink once he was restored to his natural form. That would not only be really awkward and uncomfortable, it would be embarrassing as hell. It seemed a much wiser choice to be on the floor when he was turned back.

Ranma turned around and walked to the edge of the counter. "Hey!" Akane said. "Where do you think you're going?" Ranma ignored her and kept on crawling towards the edge on his little legs. Once he reached it he jumped down, then turned around and stared at her.

"What?" Akane said after a few moment. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Bwee!"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Okay fine. We'll do it your way." She cupped her hands and collected some hot water in them. "Now hold still, I don't want to make a big mess."

The water was hotter than he had anticipated, and the shock of getting hit by it drove the breath out of his lungs for a moment, but then Ranma felt his body shift and stretch as his curse reversed.

"Ah, that feels good," he said once his natural form was restored. Standing up, he did some stretches and shook his limbs to see if everything was still in working order.

"Oh my," Akane breathed.

Ranma stopped his contortions and turned to his fiancée, who was staring at him with wide eyes and a bright red face. Following her line of sight, he looked down, and rolled his eyes. "So I'm naked. Get over it," he told her.

She didn't appear to have heard him, she just continued to stare at his naked form. Ranma scowled when he noticed a few other things about his fiancée. Her breathing was fast and shallow, her eyes were glazed, and her nipples had hardened into prominent little nubs that were visible even through her school uniform.

"Oh my," Akane repeated.

"Oh, for god's sake!" Ranma grumbled. Reaching out with his right hand, he caught a nipple between his thumb and index finger and pinched it, hard.

Akane yelped. "Ow! Hey!"

"Sorry," Ranma said, though he wasn't sorry at all, he just wanted her to stop staring at him. "I know I have an awesome body, but do you think you could get over it for now and do something about it instead? I mean, I know it must be hard for you, but I really need some clothes."

"Wha-?" Akane mumbled. "Clothes, yeah." She shook her head, and her eyes finally regained their focus. "O- of course! I think they're still outside. I'll just go, uhm, and get them." She hurried to leave the bathroom, but not before taking one last look at Ranma.

Ranma sighed. "Man, sometimes it can be really annoying to be so irresistible."

He jumped on the counter, sitting on its edge, and took a look around. Except for the difference in dimensions it looked the same to him, like a regular rest room, not much different from the men's room. That was kind of disappointing. He had hoped to find something out of the ordinary that would explain why girls always went to the bathroom in groups, but there was nothing.

Maybe the only reason why girls went to the bathroom in groups was that girls were weird.

"Man, I turn into a girl and I still can't figure it out," Ranma sighed. Chuckling, he shook his head and decided to stop thinking about stuff like that. It was useless anyway.

Several voices could suddenly be heard. Ranma froze. Those were female voices, and they were getting louder.

Suddenly his bad feeling was back, and the small ball of lead in the pit of his stomach grew into a giant boulder.

"Was that Akane just now? I wonder why she was in such a hurry?"

"Fuck!" Ranma swore. He started looking frantically for a hiding spot, but since he was inside a girl's rest room, he had no luck finding one. Maybe he could hide in a stall and lock the door. But then the girls would either see his bare hairy feet and legs or, if he pulled his legs up out of view, they'd notice that a locked stall seemed to be empty. Either way, the chances of those girls noticing something out of the ordinary and investigating was too great. That meant hiding in a stall was out.

"No idea. Maybe she's looking to find that hunky fiancée of hers and get in a quickie before school starts."

The door opened half-way through the second girl's answer, and Ranma started to panic. There was nowhere for him to go! He would be discovered naked in the girl's rest room, and with the way his life had been going recently, they'd probably demand he do unspeakable things to them!

He frantically swivelled his head from left to right, looking desperately for a hiding spot. A trash can he could crawl into, a window leading outside, anything! But there was nothing to hide in and nowhere to go, except... up.

Ranma gave a silent prayer of thanks as a solution came to him. He jumped upwards and angled his body. Using an advanced technique his father had taught him, he managed to cling to the ceiling. Ranma was suddenly glad that his father had taught him this technique, even if he hadn't been able to appreciate its usefulness back then.

_Please don't let them look up, please don't let them look up,_ he chanted silently as he watched the girls. There were three of them, two brunettes and one with black hair, all dressed in girls' school uniforms. They walked to the counter, checking their appearance in the mirror.

"You're so bad, Rei," the first girl, a brunette, said. She wore her hair short, with two strands framing her face. The most eye-catching thing about her were her lips though. They were very full and bright red in colour, and seemed to be stuck in an eternal pout. Ranma found himself idly wondering what it would be like to feel those lips on his.

"Hey," the other girl, who Ranma assumed to be Rei, answered. She had brown hair too, though she wore hers in a ponytail that fell all the way down her back to her behind. A very firm and supple behind, Ranma noticed. He also couldn't help but notice her breasts, which were straining even against the loose jacket of her school uniform. "I'm just saying. If he were my fiancée I'd be over him like stink on cheese. He's hot!"

The third girl, the one with black hair, giggled. Her looks were average and there was nothing remarkable about her appearance, except for her hair, which she wore in a pageboy style. It was the blackest hair Ranma had ever seen on a person, and it shimmered oddly in the light. "I know! Akane is so lucky. Not only is Ranma a kick-ass martial artist with a hot body, he seems like a nice guy too! Not like all the other idiots."

"Yeah," Rei said as she started messing with her hair, "I can't believe they went along with Kuno's moronic proclamation. Seriously, what kind of idiot thinks beating a girl up is how you go about getting her to go out with you?"

"The other guys aren't much better," the first girl said. "They could have at least tried to put a stop to it. Instead they sat around and watched."

"That's not the worst, though," Rei said, gathering her hair in her hands and holding it up in two pigtails. She frowned and shook her head, letting it fall back down. "You know Nabiki, Akane's sister?" she went on, "I heard she started taking bets on the outcome of the fights. Now that's just low. Your own sister gets attacked by a horde of morons every morning, and instead of helping her, you try to make a profit off it."

Ranma frowned. This was the first he'd heard of that and he couldn't quite believe it. Nabiki seemed like a pretty nice girl to him, even if she did have a rather prominent opportunistic streak in her. He had trouble imagining her doing something like that though. He'd have to talk to her about it.

"Jeez!" Rei said suddenly. "This bra is killing me." She took off her jacket, followed by her blouse and bra. Ranma's eyes almost fell out of his head when he saw her breasts. They were great, full and firm, with rosy nipples standing proudly erect, just begging to be sucked. "Wow this is better," she sighed.

The first girl eyed Rei's breasts and giggled. "Is it too cold for you or are you just getting turned on thinking about Ranma?" she asked, flipping one of Rei's nipples.

Rei shrugged, and Ranma's eyes involuntarily followed the movement of her breasts. "Hey, like I said. He's hot! I wouldn't mind borrowing him for a night," she said with a grin.

The other two girls giggled again, but then then the third girl's expression grew wistful as she looked at Rei's chest. "Your breasts are gorgeous. They're so big and they don't sag at all. I wish I had breasts like those."

Rei smirked. "I know!" She cupped her breasts in her hands and fondled them, squeezing her nipples between her finger tips. "I'm really proud of those babies."

Ranma clenched his eyes shut and bit the inside of his cheek, suppressing a groan. This was torture!

"I think I'll just go without a bra today. It's not like I need one," Rei said. She stuffed her bra into her bag and put her uniform back on. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then. Let's go. We don't want to be late for class."

Ranma breathed a huge sigh of relief as soon as the door closed behind the girls, but now he had another problem. Not only was he a naked boy in the girl's rest room, he was a naked boy with a hard-on in the girl's rest room. If anyone else came inside and spotted him, he'd be screwed. And not in a good way.

"Come on, Akane." he muttered. "What's taking you so long?"

The door opened again about a minute later, and Ranma held his breath, his heart hammering in his chest. Beads of sweat broke out on his brow and ran down his nose, gathering into a big fat drop on its tip. Ranma stared at it cross-eyed for a few seconds, then gravity won, and the bead of sweat fell down, glittering in the sun as it approached the floor. Upon impact it broke apart with a loud splattering sound that rang like a gun shot in Ranma's ears.

He sucked in his breath, certain that the person behind the door had heard it. She was going to look up as soon as she stepped inside and spot him as he hung there, naked, his package dangling between his legs like a fishing rod. She would let out a shrill scream that carried for miles in every direction, attracting a mob of girls who would be intend on carrying out righteous justice against the pervert in their rest room.

They'd beat him with broomsticks, tennis rackets, pans and everything else they could get their hands on before they'd stomp his balls into mush, taking away his ability to have sex forever.

A shadow appeared on the floor below him, wavering menacingly like the manifestation of his personal doom that it was. Ranma closed his eyes and uttered a short prayer, asking whatever deity there was for mercy.

The shadow moved as the person it belonged to prepared to enter the rest room. Ranma's heart rate doubled, and he was starting to hope this would all be over with soon, if for nothing else than to save him from having a heart attack.

Though all this tension does have an upside, he thought as he felt his erection wilting.

Then the girl in the door stepped inside, and Ranma let out a relieved breath. It was only Akane. He let go of the ceiling and landed behind her on the ground without making a sound.

"Ranma? You still here?" Akane asked.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Eek!" Akane jumped about three feet in the air and whirled around, and Ranma had to suppress a chuckle at her reaction. Maybe this was why the old ghoul had always tried to sneak up on him. "Jeez! You startled me," Akane said, one hand held against her chest as she gasped for air.

"I'm sorry," Ranma said, ignoring the hungry look in Akane's eyes and the way they roamed across his body as if she was staring at a giant ice-cream sundae. "Did you bring my clothes?"

Akane licked her lips. "Yes."

Ranma waited for her to hand over his clothes, but she just continued to stand there and stare at him. He grew impatient. "So give them to me, I want to get dressed!"

Akane's eyes suddenly snapped up to Ranma's face, a strange glint in them. "I'll give them to you on one condition."

"..." Ranma stared at her, not believing his ears for a moment. Here he was, standing in the girl's rest room, naked, the probability of being discovered growing bigger with every second, and it had sounded like his fiancée was trying to blackmail him. "Huh," he said, sticking his right index finger into his ear and wiggling it around, "I must be hearing things. I could have sworn you were trying to blackmail me."

"I am," Akane said, then quickly corrected herself, "I mean I'm not!" Her face flushed bright red, but she kept her head high, holding eye-contact.

Ranma stared at her for a few moments longer before letting out a sigh. "All right, let me guess: You want me to break off the engagement to you?"

"No." Akane shook her head. "Quite the opposite. I want you to have sex with me."

"... What?" Ranma stuck his finger in his ear again and wiggled it around. "Could you repeat that? I thought you said you wanted me to have sex with you."

"That's right!" Akane said, her voice getting heated. "What's so strange about that? _I'm_ your fiancée, yet you sleep around with my sisters and ignore me! All you do is hit me! You're my fiancée, you should be sleeping with _me_, not my sisters!"

"All right, all right, jeez," Ranma said, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "Calm down, I didn't know you felt like that. No reason to blow a gasket."

"Well now you know! And if you want to have your clothes back, you'll agree to my demands!"

"Okay, sure," Ranma said. "Just give me my clothes so I can get dressed and I promise I'll sleep with you tonight."

"No! I want you to have sex with me now!"

"Now?" Ranma asked, convincing himself that the strange squeaking he'd heard certainly hadn't been his voice. Manly men like him didn't squeak. Not ever. Nope. "But we don't have time! School's about to start!"

"I don't care!"

"But what if somebody comes in?"

"So? Let them watch! Maybe then those stupid rumours about me being a lesbian will stop."

"A lesbian?" Ranma asked, his eyebrows disappearing in his hairline. Involuntarily, his mind conjured images of Akane in an intimate embrace with another girl. And since her image was still fresh in his mind, Rei took on the role of the other girl.

He pictured Akane naked, with her slender arms wrapped around Rei's equally naked body, their breasts pressed together as they exchanged heated kisses. Breaking their kiss, Akane wiggled her body downwards to attack Rei's sumptuous breasts, showering them with kisses as she lovingly used her hands to squeeze and caress them. Rei was cooing her appreciation, running her hands through Akane's dishevelled hair.

As Ranma's fantasy grew hotter he felt his cock starting to grow hard again. Damn, what he wouldn't give to see his fantasy become reality.

A loud growl broke him out of his thoughts. "You're picturing me with another girl, aren't you?" Akane asked. Her tone was accusatory and her posture tense.

Ranma mentally debated if he should lie to her, but decided against it. "Yup!" he admitted, taking care to put exaggerated cheer in his voice just to piss her off. He had already decided to go along with her demands, since he didn't really have a choice, but he'd be damned if he made it easy for her.

"I don't believe it!" Akane said. "What's so great about two girls together?"

"I dunno." Ranma shrugged. "It's just hot. And why are you upset, anyway? Didn't you want to have sex?" he asked, seizing the opportunity to get control over their conversation again. "Well, thinking of you getting all hot and sweaty with another girl got me ready for it," he said, his eyes going downwards to his swelling erection.

Akane blinked, then her eyes followed Ranma's. Licking her lips, she nodded her head. "Uhm, yeah. I guess you have a point," she admitted, her cheeks flushing.

"So, how do you want to do this?"

Akane bit her lip and averted her eyes, her cheeks flushing red. "I- I don't know. I've never done this before! You're the expert."

Ranma pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "You have got to be kidding me!" he said, causing Akane to flinch. But his anger quickly evaporated as something else occurred to him.

Akane hadn't planned ahead. She had only been focused on getting Ranma to agree to have sex with her and hadn't wasted any thoughts on how this would happen. Since he had agreed to it, she was quite stumped now, having no idea how to actually go about it. This was his chance to take control of the situation and get some revenge.

He had to suppress a smirk as dozens of ways of getting back at her shot through his head. Try to blackmail him, eh? Well, he'd show her the error of her ways. "All right," he said, "take off your panties and put your hands on the counter."

"W-what?"

"W-what?" Ranma mocked her. "What's with you today? Did you catch Kuno's moronitis when you beat him up this morning?"

"Hey!" Akane started to protest.

"Shut up!" Ranma snapped, and Akane quickly snapped her mouth shut. "You want to have sex, this is how we're going to do it: You'll take off your panties and bend over the counter, then I'm going to fuck you from behind until your legs give out. Got it?"

"A- all right," Akane agreed shakily. Blushing, she dropped her satchel and reached underneath the skirt of her school uniform. She wiggled her hips a few times, then her panties suddenly fell to the floor around her ankles. She hastily stepped out of them and snatched them up.

Ranma held out his hand, one eyebrow raised. "Now give them to me."

Blushing even brighter, Akane did as she had been told, keeping her eyes averted the whole time. It was almost cute, this shy school girl act of hers, but Ranma hardened his heart. This girl had been trying to blackmail him not five minutes ago, he couldn't go and get soft now just because she had lost her nerve!

"Okay, now go over to the counter," he commanded. Akane shakily walked the three steps and stopped in front of the left sink, casting a nervous glance at Ranma over her back. "Bend over and grab a hold of the tap," he told her. Hesitating, Akane looked back once more. Ranma kept his expression hard, glaring at her, and she followed his instructions.

"Good," Ranma said, his mouth stretching into a satisfied smirk. He approached her with slow, deliberate steps, stopping only when his dick pressed against her out-stretched bottom, and bent over her back. "That's a good girl," he husked into her left ear, sending shivers down Akane's spine.

He reached around her, grabbing hold of her hands, and used Akane's panties as a make-shift rope, tying her hands securely to the tap. Then he straightened and took two steps back. Akane bowed her head, closing her eyes, and whimpered. Ignoring her apprehension, he kicked her left ankle, spreading her legs, and flipped up her skirt, revealing Akane's tight bottom.

Ranma regarded Akane's position coolly, letting his gaze sweep from her tied hands over her bowed head and down to her ass, which was just begging to be smacked. Smirking, Ranma didn't hesitate a moment longer.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

As he proceeded to turn Akane's ass a nice red colour, Ranma was reminded of that time in Akane's room a few days ago, when he had spanked her for the first time. This time would be different though, this time he wouldn't let her have her release, not after the way she had tried to force him into fucking her.

He smacked her ass and thighs until her whole backside was a uniform glowing red, ignoring Akane's pained cries and whimpers. Only when both his hands were starting to sting did he stop.

He took a stop closer to the sobbing girl and rubbed two fingers across the oily lips of her cunt, causing her hips to jerk. "My, my," he said in a cool tone, "seems like somebody's all worked up." Then he plunged his fingers all the way into her slippery cunt, thrusting them back and forth. He worked her core until she tensed, just a small step away from falling over the precipice into ecstasy, and stopped suddenly, yanking his fingers back out, Akane's juices spattering to the floor.

He waited, watching her with a cruel smirk on his lips. Akane blinked and raised her head, looking back at Ranma with vacant eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but could only gasp as Ranma suddenly plunged his fingers back inside her cunt to work her up until she was almost ready to cum once more.

Ranma repeated that several times, fucking her cunt with his fingers until she was just a hair's breadth away from orgasm before he stopped. Akane's expression grew more and more frustrated with every cruel repetition, but Ranma didn't care. This was simply to show her that he wouldn't let himself be manipulated into fucking if he didn't want to. And to reinforce the lesson Akane had obviously failed to learn a few days ago.

When Akane was nothing but a sobbing mass of quivering flesh, barely able to keep upright, her thought processes scrambled from her overwhelming need to cum, Ranma yanked his fingers out of her cunt and stepped away from her.

He regarded the girl's twitching form coolly, his arms crossed over his chest. "Where do you have my clothes?" he asked her.

Akane blinked, sniffing back tears. "Wha- what?"

SMACK!

His right hand whipped out to slap her ass again. "Where. Are. My. Clothes?" he hissed.

Akane howled, her hips churning in pain. "In my bag!" she gasped out.

Ranma picked up her satchel and took out his clothes, then calmly dressed himself. Before he left, he turned back one last time.

"You already know that I won't take insults from anyone. Now you also know that I don't like being forced to do things I don't want to. That includes having sex. You better remember that."

Then he stepped out, calmly closing the door behind himself before he made his way to class.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The characters used herein belong to their respective owner(s). I am simply using them for entertainment purposes and to poke fun. No infringement is intended.

* * *

Physical Education was the bane of his existence, Ranma decided as his class surrounded him after his performance at the asymmetrical bars.

"Wow! That was awesome!"

"Yeah! That was great! Where did you learn to do that?"

"What kind of question is that, you idiot? He's a world-class martial artist, this is nothing! He can probably fly and shoot energy blasts too!"

"You've watched too much anime, you moron."

Ranma tuned out at that point, stoically enduring all the back-slapping and amazed comments by his class mates with good humour, only telling them to take a long walk off a short pier inside his head. Their comments gradually turned from adoration and awe at his super-human feats into bickering among themselves as they argued whether people like him and Kuno could learn to fly, and Ranma used a moment of inattention to slip away.

He hurried across the yard, making his way over to the big old oak tree that towered into the air next to the softball pitch, and sat down at its majestic trunk. Sighing, Ranma closed his eyes and leaned back, relaxing in the shade provided by the tree's dense canopy.

It was strange how his life had changed in just a few short days. Back in junior high school, Ranma had enjoyed showing off in P.E. A few months ago he would have basked in the attention he had fled from just now. But that had been before the fateful trip to China and Jusenkyo, before he had become a young Chinese girl's personal nemesis, before his engagement, and before he had slept with his fiancée's two sisters.

Compared to his recent experiences, having his classmates gush over him for something as simple as a gymnastics exercise seemed … trivial. It didn't give him the same feeling of importance anymore, didn't boost his confidence or his ego. But maybe that was normal. Maybe it wasn't strange that showing off in P.E. didn't give him the same feeling of satisfaction as helping a girl reach the pinnacle of pleasure did.

Maybe this was part of growing up. Ranma wasn't sure.

Thinking of Nabiki and how good, how deeply contented it had made him feel when he had slept with her and felt her come apart while he made love to her brought Ranma to another problem. It led him to think about Nabiki's sisters and the way they had been acting.

Now there was something he should have seen coming. Even Ryoga could have told him that having sex with both of your fiancée's sisters while you more or less ignored your fiancée was only going to lead to trouble. Well, maybe not Ryoga, Ranma conceded, but anybody else with the common sense of a five-year-old could have seen that coming.

He had allowed his hormones to get the best of him, and now he had to deal with a bitchy fiancée demanding sexual favours, her submissive sister who seemed to live only to please or embarrass him, and her other sister, who was the only normal one of the whole bunch. Coincidentally, Nabiki was also the one Ranma liked the most. If he could pick one of the sisters now, he'd definitely pick her.

Ranma sighed. It was no use wishing for another opportunity to pick his fiancée. Akane had been picked for him, and both his pops and Mr Tendo seemed dead set on her. Under those circumstances it might be a wise decision to stop sleeping with any of the girls. No matter how awesome fucking them might feel, it wasn't worth all the trouble.

"Watch out!"

The cry broke Ranma out of his thoughts. Blinking, he turned his head-

SMACK!

-only to get hit by a rocket travelling along at Mach 7. At least, that was what it felt like.

"Ow! What the fuck?"

Clutching his cheek, Ranma looked around for the projectile that had almost taken his head off. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw a small bit of smoke rise from the ground, wavering in the slight breeze.

Ranma picked the object up, and his eyebrows disappeared beneath his hairline.

"A baseball?"

He was indeed holding the charred, still smoking remains of what had once been a baseball. "Well, I'll be..." he mumbled.

This was most impressive. The kind of strength required to accelerate a baseball to that kind of speed was immense. He knew only one person who had that kind of strength and who was also a student here.

He looked up, and immediately spotted Akane. She was surrounded by a gaggle of girls and still held a baseball bat in her right hand, her other hand waving around wildly as she argued with the girls.

Ranma squinted. Some of the girls arguing with Akane seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. They were too far away to get a good look at them, but Ranma was sure he had seen them before. Somebody he had met on his training trip? It had to be, Ranma hadn't interacted much with his fellow students. He didn't even know the names of the people sitting next to him in class.

Then it hit him like a kick in the groin. They were the girls he had seen in the bathroom earlier. What were their names again? Right, Rei, and … something. Ranma frowned. He couldn't remember. Judging by the way that one girl's chest was bouncing around, it was definitely them though. He'd recognise that rack anywhere.

Their argument seemed to reach its end as Akane's gestures became more and more frantic while the other girls' body language was just as vehement. Akane abruptly turned her head and stomped back to bat. Apparently the teacher got involved then, telling the girls to play on. They did so, but with a lot of reluctance.

"Hey, man, are you all right?"

Ranma started as he heard that voice from directly to his left.

"Yeah, that looked like a pretty nasty hit you took her," another voice from his right broke in.

Ranma suppressed the urge to jump in surprise with some effort, all the while asking himself how he had missed those two guys sitting down beside him.

"Yeah, it's fine. I've had worse," he said, hoping to get them to leave. It just wasn't his day though, as both boys completely missed the dismissive tone of his voice. Ranma didn't even know their names.

The first guy chuckled. "Hah, I'll believe that!" Shaking his head, he turned a curious glance at Ranma. "But aren't you some big bad martial artist? Shouldn't you have sensed that ball coming?"

"I was distracted," Ranma answered.

"Hah, distracted my foot!" The first guy snorted. "Looked like you were day-dreaming to me!" His mouth twisted into a lewd grin. "What were ya thinkin' about? Probably remembering how ya fucked that hot fiancée of yours."

Ranma's nostrils flared as he pinned that obnoxious guy with his most vicious glare, barely managing to keep his temper in check. "It's none of your business," he hissed. "And if I ever hear you talking like that again, I'll rip off your pathetic little dick, stuff it up your own ass and drop you naked and unconscious in the school yard. Do. You. Understand. Me?"

The guy nodded frantically, his face white as a sheet. "P- perfectly!"

"Good." Nodding in satisfaction, Ranma leaned back again.

"Uhm," the other guy spoke up timidly, "that looks like a nasty mark. Maybe you should have the nurse look at it."

Ranma pinned him with a penetrating stare in turn, waiting for him to add another remark. Maybe something about how he could use his injury to seduce the nurse.

None came.

"I think I'll do that," Ranma agreed once the guy started sweating like a pig and seemed to be about to soil his trousers. "If you'll excuse me."

Not bothering to wait for a reply, Ranma got up and walked away. As he crossed the yard, he heard the two guys whispering urgently.

"Are you out of your fucking mind? What possessed you to ask him THAT?"

"Hey! It's not my fault! How was I supposed to know he'd flip out like that? I thought he was cool!"

Strangely, it didn't bother Ranma that those two prats didn't think of him as cool.

* * *

Ranma was lost in thought as he left Furinkan High at the end of the day. Akane hadn't said a word of apology to him, had, in fact, not even glanced in his direction.

Maybe she's really embarrassed about the whole thing, Ranma thought hopefully. Hah! As if! Snorting, he dismissed that idea as nonsense as quickly as it had come.

Akane was a lot of things, but she wasn't a coward. If she hadn't said anything about almost killing him with a baseball it meant that she was still pissed off.

Ranma sighed. When had his life turned into this mess? The moment you started shagging Kasumi and Nabiki, he answered his own question. The notion of simply not having sex with them grew more attractive by the minute.

"Ouch, that does look painful."

Blinking, Ranma pulled his attention back to his surroundings. "Oh. Hi, Nabiki."

"Well, lucky for you, Tofu's place isn't that far," Nabiki exclaimed cheerfully. "He can have a look at it!" She grabbed Ranma's wrist and started dragging him away.

"Tofu's place?" Ranma asked, pulling his arm back. Or at least trying to pull his arm back. He found that Nabiki's grip wouldn't budge.

"He's the doctor we usually go to. Well, it's mostly Akane who goes there when she pulls a muscle or something. Tofu's a chiropractor," Nabiki told him.

"I really think this is unnecessary," Ranma said as Nabiki dragged him along by the hand. "I don't need a doctor. I'll be healed up by morning."

They were getting some rather odd looks from other people out and about, and Ranma was feeling a bit embarrassed. Here he was, a big bad martial artist, able to throw around cars as if they were made of paper, and he was getting dragged along like a naughty boy by a ninety-pound girl.

It was the oddest thing, though. No matter what he tried, he couldn't pry Nabiki's hand off his wrist. That girl had some remarkable strength, despite her rather ordinary appearance. It seemed the only way to get her to let go of him was to disable the nerves in her wrist.

Not willing to do that, Ranma gave up and accepted his situation, deciding that it counted as holding hands. And holding hands with a cute girl you liked was supposed to be a good thing.

Nabiki turned her head to glare at him, not even breaking stride. "And I'll tell you again that I don't think so," she said, using that 'You're an idiot and I'm about to run out of patience' tone of voice every female on the planet could skillfully wield like a bludgeon from the age of four.

Ranma told himself to just shut up and enjoy 'holding hands' with the only girl he knew who didn't appear to have a serious mental problem.

Nabiki slowed down as they reached Tofu's practise, calling out a greeting as she dragged Ranma inside. "After that toughness training you did, a hit like that shouldn't even leave a mark, let alone one that hasn't disappeared after several hours," she added, simply to reinforce what an idiot he was being about the whole thing.

Ranma couldn't really argue against that. She was right, but he would never tell her that. He did still have his pride, after all.

So he just sighed long-sufferingly and gave up. It appeared that Nabiki could be quite the stubborn girl, worse than her little sister. He followed her into the waiting area, greeting the other patients waiting there.

"Now that's a good boy." Nabiki grinned teasingly, patting Ranma's head like a little boy's.

Ranma took a half-hearted swipe at her hand. "Cut that out," he told her, grinning despite himself.

This was another remarkable thing about Nabiki, Ranma had found out. No matter what she did, he couldn't stay annoyed with her. All she had to do was smile at him or tease him, and he forgot all about why he should be bothered by her behaviour. Instead a whole hive of bees suddenly took up residence in his stomach.

Smiling back at him, Nabiki pointed at a vacant seat. "Now sit, grab a magazine to read and wait for the good doctor." A mischievous twinkle appeared in her eyes. "Maybe if you're good I'll treat you to some ice cream later."

"Oooh, ice cream," Ranma cooed, playing along. "I'll be good, I promise!"

Chuckling, Nabiki sat down beside him and grabbed a magazine for herself. They both sat there for about half an hour before it was their turn to see the good doctor.

"Oh, Nabiki! Ranma!" Tofu exclaimed. "What brings you here?"

"Hello, Doctor Tofu." Nabiki stood, dragging Ranma to his feet as well. "Ranma here had a little accident earlier today, and I thought it might be better if you had a look at it."

Ranma rolled his eyes. "I told her it was unnecessary, but she wouldn't budge."

Tofu winced once he saw the big ugly bruise on Ranma's cheek. "Ouch, that looks painful. Why don't you come with me and I'll have a look."

They followed him into his examination room, where he put on some sterile gloves and told Ranma to hop onto the examination table. Taking a seat on a small office stool, Tofu rolled across the floor and began inspecting Ranma's injury.

Ranma flinched as Tofu poked the edges of his bruise, and Nabiki chuckled. "So it's nothing, eh?" she asked, smirking. "Doesn't even hurt?"

Ranma stuck his tongue out at her, which proved to a mistake when Tofu poked the bruise some more, causing Ranma to clench his teeth and bite his tongue. "Oww!" he whined. "See what you made me do?"

"Serves you right," Nabiki teased.

"I'm glad that you two seem to be getting along well," Tofu commented.

"What makes you say that?" Nabiki asked sharply, and Ranma frowned at her harsh voice.

Tofu chuckled. "Well, judging by this bruise on Ranma's face, Akane seems to be pretty angry right now. And if you two get along well you can stick together."

"How did you know that Akane did this?" Ranma asked.

"It's quite easy," Tofu began to explain as he rolled across the floor to a cupboard. "The shape of the bruise tells me that you were hit by a baseball." He took out a tube of ointment and a bandage. "And the fact that it bruised so heavily tells me that it must have been hit by a very strong person. The only person I know with that kind of strength besides you or your father is Akane."

"I guess that's reasonable enough," Nabiki said, "but how did you know that she's angry?"

"Hah," Tofu laughed as he rolled back to continue treating Ranma, "that's easy to explain too. I knew because the bruise hasn't faded the slightest bit."

Nabiki frowned. "I don't understand."

"Injuries that were inflicted with strong feelings behind them take longer to heal than normal injuries." Tofu rubbed the ointment onto the bruise and slapped a bandage over it. "Especially if they've been inflicted by a skilled martial artist."

"Wow. I didn't know that." Nabiki shrugged. "You learn something new every day."

"So, am I good to go?" Ranma asked.

Tofu nodded. "Yes. There's really not much I can do. It'll heal on its own. Shouldn't take longer than a day or two," he said, and rolled back across the floor to put away his supplies.

"Hello?" Kasumi's voice came suddenly from the front of the clinic. "Is anybody here?"

Tofu's back grew rigid, his glasses fogging over. "Ka- Ka- Ka- Kasumi!"

Ranma frowned as he watched to doctor's strange behaviour and shot a questioning glance at Nabiki. The girl just shrugged and mouthed 'later' back to him.

"Ah, there you are!" Kasumi said as she entered the examination room. "I was starting to think you'd gone out and forgotten to lock up. Did you know that your waiting area is deserted?" she asked with a cute frown.

"Gee, I wonder why," Nabiki mumbled.

Tofu sprang up from his seat, staggering like a drunken sailor. "Fancy meeting you here, Kasumi!" he said, sounding like a mental patient who hadn't taken his medication. "I was just playing with Betsy here!"

"Hey!" Ranma said as Tofu grabbed him and dragged him to his feet.

"Say hello to Kasumi, Betsy!" Tofu said, taking Ranma's hand. There was a sickening pop as Tofu waved Ranma's hand around, bending it in strange ways in the process.

"Argh!"

"Doctor Tofu!" Kasumi shrieked, horrified. "What are you doing! Stop this at once, you're hurting my Ranma!"

Tofu ignored her, babbling on. "Shall we dance for a bit?" he asked 'Betsy', then began twirling Ranma around, holding his arm in a vice-like grip all the while, causing more disgusting noises.

"That's quite enough!" Kasumi stalked over, her expression stormy. Raising her hand, she smacked Tofu right across the cheek, causing a mark to rival Ranma's.

SLAP!

Tofu blinked, his glasses clearing. "What? Where?"

"You get out while I have a word with the good doctor. His behaviour is unacceptable," Kasumi told Ranma and Nabiki.

"Ka- Ka- Ka- Kasumi! Fancy meeting you here!"

They didn't have to be told twice, and almost ran each other over on their way out.

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Ranma said once they were outside and a safe distance away from that walking disaster. He winced as he heard something break inside, followed by a pained cry.

"That," Nabiki said, "was Doctor Tofu when Kasumi is around. He's usually pretty competent and level-headed, but as soon as he sees or hears my dear sister he completely falls apart." She frowned. "He's never been so out of it that he hurt one of his patients, though."

"Ah." Ranma nodded in understanding. "So Kasumi's the one Tofu has a crush on."

Nabiki smirked. "My, that's quite perceptive – for a boy raised in the woods," she teased.

"Pah, 'twas nothing." Ranma waved his arm airily, wincing as the motion caused a twinge in his abused limb.

"Are you all right?" Nabiki asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," Ranma assured her. Then he shot her a smirk. "You might want to be careful though," he teased her, "or one might think you actually cared."

The corners of Nabiki's mouth twitched. "Not really. I'm just worried that you might not be up to a repeat performance of the other day, in case I feel like it later."

"Pah! Never worry about that," Ranma told her, puffing out his chest and waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "I'll always be up for that."

This time Nabiki smiled for the briefest of moments before she carefully schooled her expression again. "Cool your jets, Saotome. I didn't say I wanted a repeat performance, just that I might – might! -" she stressed, "feel like one later. And I do believe I owe you some ice-cream."

"Lead the way then!"

They walked along in companionable silence, sharing a glance and a warm smile every time one caught the other looking at them.

"Aw look, Ranma," Nabiki broke the silence, pointing at a furry lump up ahead. "There's a kitten sleeping on the pavement. Isn't that cute?"

The response she got probably wasn't quite what she had expected.

Ranma shot off, rushing at the beast like an American going for an all-you-can-eat buffet. "Outta my way!" he called to the other people out and about. Most dove aside, barely managing to get out of the way. Some didn't, and were mercilessly bowled over by Ranma.

"Kitten Kick!" he screamed as he reached the kitten, his right leg shooting out to punt the animal into the horizon. He watched it sail off with an expression of deep satisfaction on his face.

Nabiki hurried to catch up with him. Grabbing his arm, she whirled him around. "Why the HELL did you do that?" she screamed.

Ranma turned his head away, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I have my reasons."

Nabiki narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't care. Just for that, YOU'LL be the one paying for our ice cream."

"Meh. Whatever. It was worth it."

"Yeah? We'll see if you still think that when you have to pay for my order."

She stormed off, and Ranma hurried to catch up with her. They once more walked in silence, only it felt a lot colder this time. Soon they reached the ice-cream shop and went inside. Nabiki ordered the most expensive sundae on the menu, and Ranma had to limit himself to a small milk shake. And contrary to Nabiki's earlier prediction, he still didn't regret delivering justice to that furry abomination.

After grabbing their orders, they took a seat at a corner booth.

"So," Nabiki said around a mouthful of ice-cream. "Tell me a bit about your travels."

"What would you like to know?" Ranma asked as he played with the straw in his shake.

Nabiki shrugged. "I don't care. Just tell me something funny."

"All right, but only if you tell me some stories yourself."

"Deal."

They began talking, exchanging funny or embarrassing experiences. The longer they talked the quieter Ranma got, until he simply watched Nabiki with a fond smile on his face, slurping his milkshake absent-mindedly as she told some funny anecdote concerning Akane's misadventures as a little girl.

As far as Ranma could tell, Nabiki was having a good time. She had a humorous twinkle in her eyes, her lips were stretched into a lazy grin and she seemed to be relaxed and having fun.

Every now and then she would make a short pause in her story to eat and savour some more of her sundae. Ranma found his gaze drawn to her mouth, and he felt a strange twinge in his lower body every time Nabiki poked out her tongue to lick some ice-cream off her lips or the spoon.

Ranma was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"You know," he said, interrupting her tale, "we should do this more often. Hanging out with you is fun."

Nabiki stopped her story mid-sentence, letting her spoon fall from her fingers to clatter noisily against the rim of her bowl. "I'm sorry, Ranma-baby, but I don't think so," she said, her whole demeanour suddenly changing as if Ranma had broken some spell. The twinkle in her eyes disappeared and her features grew stony and cold. "You're a nice guy and great in bed, but you're just not date material."

Ranma choked on his milkshake. "Wh- what?"

Had he done something wrong? Just a few moments ago he had been having fun and marvelling at how great he and Nabiki got along. Their interactions seemed to have honest feelings and true affection behind them and weren't based on some strange kind of kink.

Something he had already noticed when they'd made love. Their feelings had made it a lot better than his fuck with Kasumi had been.

And now she was saying... What was she saying? That she didn't like Ranma at all, and only thought of him as a convenient outlet for her sexual frustrations? That she didn't even consider him her friend? Somehow, that didn't sound right to Ranma.

Nabiki either didn't notice Ranma's heart breaking or more likely didn't care. "I only date boys for one reason: gifts. The guys I usually go out with shower me with gifts and take me to expensive restaurants. And you're just too poor, Ranma-baby. Besides, our old men might get ideas if we started dating suddenly, and I have even less intention of marrying you than I have of going out with you." She stood up and grabbed her school bag. "Don't get me wrong, I liked having sex with you and I'd like it if we could still be fuck-buddies, but we won't be repeating anything like this." Narrowing her eyes, she leaned over the table, pinning Ranma with a menacing look. "And you better keep your mouth shut about our little affair if you don't want people to think that you might be batting for the other team, if you catch my drift."

Ranma could only blink and watch stupidly as Nabiki walked out of the ice cream shop.

"What the hell just happened here?"


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The characters used herein belong to their respective owner(s). I am simply using them for entertainment purposes and to poke fun. No infringement is intended.

* * *

It was a beautiful afternoon, warm but not too hot, the sun was shining, and a gentle breeze blew in from the backyard, carrying with it the smell of freshly mown grass and flowers in bloom.

Soun took a sip of his tea and relaxed, soaking up the soothing atmosphere.

"Care for a game of Go, old friend?" Genma asked.

Soun put down his cup. "Of course. Just let me finish my tea first. I'll join you in a minute."

Genma stood up and went to the porch, and Soun let out a relaxed breath. This was the life. Enjoying a pleasant evening with his best friend, drinking tea and playing Go. Soon, Ranma would marry Akane, and the Tendo and Saotome families would be connected by the strongest bond imaginable, stronger even than a life-long friendship and years of mutual suffering under a cruel and twisted master.

Yes, life was definitely good.

Soun drained the last of his tea and got up to join his friend.

They played without talking, except when trying to distract and divert their opponent. Just two old friends having a good time.

Suddenly, the front door was thrown open and slammed shut like the jaws of a cruel cocktease, shattering the tranquil atmosphere.

Soun started and dropped his black stone. Frowning, he aimed a stern look at the doorway, ready to scold Akane for letting her temper get out of hand again as soon as she came into the room...

Only the person that that came stomping inside like an angry bull wasn't Akane, the girl known for having a short fuse and being a violent maniac. No, it was Kasumi. Sweet loveable Kasumi, the young woman who always had a smile on her face and whose aura was more peaceful and tranquil than a relaxation fountain.

Soun stopped short and blinked, not believing his eyes.

Kasumi looked … furious. Her face was twisted into an angry scowl and flushed red in anger, her hair, usually neatly tied in a ponytail that rested on her shoulder, was frizzled, strands sticking out as if electrically charged, and there seemed to be a tight blue aura surrounding her.

"That jerk! He'll pay for that! He's supposed to be helping people, not breaking my Ranma's arm," Kasumi muttered as she stormed past Soun and Genma into the kitchen.

"Wha-?" Soun was unable to wrap his brain around the idea of his oldest daughter throwing a temper tantrum. Akane, sure. His youngest was notorious for her quick temper and violent outbursts. She had once smashed the kitchen to bits because she hadn't been able to boil water.

But sweet gentle Kasumi? The mere though of his eldest daughter getting angry to the point of producing a battle aura hot enough to peel the paint off the walls was ludicrous. He couldn't be more baffled if the sky suddenly turned pink.

Blinking, he glanced at his friend. "Did you just see what I saw?"

"I think so, Tendo," Genma said, looking as baffled as Soun felt. "Though I can hardly believe it. In the short time I've known her, Kasumi has struck me as a very sweet girl. I never could have imagined her getting this angry."

The two friends lapsed into an uneasy silence, their game forgotten as they focused on detecting impending danger. They could still hear Kasumi muttering angrily to herself in the kitchen, punctuated now and then by pans clattering and drawers being slammed.

Soun exchanged an uneasy look with his friend. "Maybe I should talk to her," he suggested.

Genma breathed a sigh of relief. "Quite so, Tendo," he agreed readily. "I do believe you should."

Jerk, Soun thought, so ready to throw me to wolves. He stood up, his knees shaking-

**WHAM!**

And fell flat on his butt as Kasumi banged a cupboard shut with enough force to rattle the whole house.

"On second thought, maybe I should let her calm down a bit first."

"Indeed, Tendo. I think that would be wise."

The banging and muttering went on for another few minutes. Then,

"AHA! There it is!"

Soun frowned, shooting Genma a questioning look. Genma just shrugged. Apparently, he had no idea what Kasumi was doing either.

He heard water running, followed by rapid clinking, as if somebody was stirring something with more force than necessary.

Then all noise stopped, and the house grew deathly quiet. Soun and Genma held their breaths.

Kasumi stepped outside, carrying a woven basket. It was covered with a red and white chequered cloth, but Soun could see the top of a Thermos bottle sticking out at one side. She seemed calmer now. Her appearance was once again flawless, and her demeanour seemed placid as always.

"I'm sorry, father, but I have to go out again. There's an urgent errand I need to take care of."

Soun blinked. Well, she certainly sounded like she was back in a normal mood. "That's quite all right, Kasumi. I'm sure we'll be able to fend for ourselves for one e… ve... ning," he trailed off as he got a glimpse of Kasumi's eyes. They were cold and frosty like an Arctic lake. Looking at them was like staring death in the face. He shivered, feeling as if somebody had just walked over his grave.

He realised then that he'd been wrong. Kasumi wasn't back to her normal self. She hadn't calmed down. Her anger had simply transformed into something cooler, crueller.

In that moment, Soun was scared for his life. The dreaded master at his angriest seemed like a tame kitten compared to this primal manifestation of death.

He couldn't answer. He was petrified. It took all his willpower to keep himself from wetting himself.

"Very well. I'll be going then. You two have fun with your game."

Kasumi left, her footsteps an ever fainter growing whisper. Soun heard the front door close. Still he couldn't move.

"Soun?" Genma said, sounding mildly concerned. "What is it?"

His old friend's voice snapped Soun out of his shock. Turning back, Soun opened his mouth to answer, but stopped as he saw that Genma didn't seem bothered. His old friend had always been the one with the more pronounced danger sense. If he didn't seem afraid, then maybe Soun had imagined the whole thing.

Soun let out a sigh, his tension draining away. "It's nothing," he said.

Yes. It had probably just been his imagination. How silly of him, to think Kasumi could turn into a cruel demon with the face of an angel.

Soun laughed shrilly, the sound bordering on hysteria, as he picked up a stone. "Let's continue our game, shall we? And how some sake?"

Genma frowned. "Sake? At this hour?"

"Why not?" Soun answered quickly. "I just felt like celebrating. It's a beautiful day, I'm spending it in the company of my best friend, and soon our children will be married. What's not to celebrate?"

"Well," Genma hedged, "when you put it like that."

"I'll be right back." Soun quickly got up and went inside to fetch the sake.

Yes, he decided, some sake and a nice distracting game of Go was just the thing to get the vision of Kasumi with the cold eyes of a serial killer out of his head.

* * *

Hands stuffed in his pockets, his head hung low, Ranma shuffled aimlessly along the street. He'd been walking for hours, weaving through the crowds on instinct alone as he was lost in thought.

Nabiki had rejected him, shot him down with all the compassion of a Gulag warden.

He'd been trying to get over it, convince himself it didn't matter, but it still stung. He'd never had many friends growing up, never mind a girlfriend. To have the first girl he'd connected with and developed an interest in brush off his tentative advances felt worse than losing a fight against Kuno. Not that he knew how that felt, but he imagined it would be almost unbearable.

Who did that damnable girl think she was? What right did she have to rip out his heart and stomp on his dreams? And what did she mean about him not being date material? So he didn't have a lot of money. Big deal! At least he didn't go around selling candid photos of his siblings for petty change.

He was still Ranma Saotome. He was handsome, smart, funny, and one of the best martial artists of his generation. How dare she brush him off without even a second thought!

He would show her, Ranma decided, clenching his hands. He would make Nabiki regret the day she rejected his advances.

But how could he do that? Ranma frowned, considering scenarios. Maybe he could shag both her sisters. Fuck them so hard and so well they screamed the house down until they couldn't walk, couldn't even think. Then Nabiki would come crawling back to him, awed by his sexual prowess, begging him for a ride on the Wild Horse. And he would deny her. He would look her right in her pleading eyes, smirk and say, "Sorry, Nabiki, you're nice and all, but you're just not fucking material."

Ranma smiled as he pictured it. Then he shook his head, rejecting that idea. If he had learned anything during his stay with the Tendos, it was that having sex with any of the girls would only lead to trouble. There would be jealousy and anger, and things would get messy fast. He didn't want to deal with that.

More importantly, though, he wanted more than a mere physical relationship with Nabiki. The short time he had spent with her had been great. She was intelligent, witty, not freaked out by his curse, good in bed, and just plain fun to be with. And unlike her sisters, she didn't have a strange fetishes.

If Soun were to ask him again tomorrow to choose one of his daughters, Ranma would pick Nabiki.

Too bad Nabiki didn't want anything to do with him like that. Unless...

Ranma smiled, a new idea forming in his head.

If he could convince Nabiki that he was more than just a convenient fuck-buddy, that he was the kind of man she'd like to go out with, maybe even marry one day, she might reconsider. But how could he do that?

Hmm, Ranma scratched his chin as he thought. Yes, he nodded, this way he could kill two birds with one stone.

He would show Nabiki that she was wrong. He would demonstrate that he was indeed boyfriend material by going all-out and wooing Akane. He would shower her with gifts, take her on dates, worship the ground she walked on, and just generally be the most romantic and considerate man the sisters had ever met. That should stop Akane's demands for sex as well. After all, those magazines he'd read had said that girls weren't really into sex. They wanted romance and love. Sex was just a chore for them.

Chuckling, Ranma turned in the direction of the Tendo dojo. He should arrive just in time for dinner.

* * *

Kasumi was on a mission. She walked along the streets of Nerima with a purpose, her footsteps swift and light, her head held high and her gaze locked forward, barely paying any attention to the people she passed by on the streets. In her arms she carried a wicker basket, covered with a red and white chequered cloth. The cap of a Thermos bottle peeked out of it.

There was only one person on her mind: Ono Tofu, the chiropractor slash specialist for Chinese medicine her family had been visiting for the last ten years. His practise wasn't very far now. Soon, she'd be there. Then she would express to him her extreme displeasure over the way he had treated her Ranma earlier.

Just thinking of it again made her blood boil, and she gripped her wicker basket tighter, her knuckles turning white as the scene played itself out again in her head. She could see the way that clown of a man had gripped her master's arm and bent it, could her the sickening sound her master's joints had produced as they were wrenched out of their sockets.

Kasumi felt her blood boil, her heart accelerating until it was hammering in her ears. Nausea rose in the back of her throat, and she stopped, forcing herself to relax. It took several deep breaths and mental images of a broken Tofu lying in the dirt at her feet, begging for mercy, to finally quiet the roaring dragon in her chest.

Soon, Tofu, Kasumi thought, you will regret ever laying hands on my Ranma! Her lips stretched into a thin smile, and she resumed her walk.

"Why, if it isn't Kasumi Tendo!" somebody called from her left. "I haven't seen you around the last few days."

Kasumi stopped and blinked, snapping out of her intense focus. Turning, she saw Mister Tanaka, the owner of the fruit stand she usually shopped at. He was smiling widely at her, baring his teeth, and crowfeet appeared at the corner of his eyes. She briefly considered ignoring him and just continuing on her way, but thought better of it. Mister Tanaka was a kind man who always had a compliment for her and often gave her discounts on his produce. She just didn't have the heart to ignore such a nice, kind man.

With a resigned sigh, Kasumi pasted on her most cheerful smile and made her way over. "Hello, Mister Tanaka. How is business?"

"I can't complain," he said, "but it's going better now that I have you to brighten my day."

"Why, how nice of you," Kasumi said, keeping her eyes from rolling only with a Herculean effort of will.

"Maybe I could interest you in some vegetables?" Tanaka said, holding up a cucumber. "I just got a fresh shipment an hour ago."

"I'm sorry, but I really don't have the time right now," Kasumi said.

"But you just got here and I haven't seen you in days!" Tanaka protested, sounding like a belligerent boy. "Where are you going in such a hurry anyway? You usually stick around to chat for a bit."

This time Kasumi did roll her eyes. That guy was always so nosy. "I'm just going to visit Doctor Tofu."

"Tofu, eh?" Tanaka said, his smile growing strained, the glint disappearing from his eyes. "That is one lucky man."

"It's not like that," Kasumi said.

Jeez, what is it with people thinking I have a crush on that horrible old man? she thought. Sure, Tofu was kind of handsome and had a respectable job, but that was pretty much the extent of his positive qualities.

Kasumi wasn't stupid. She was well aware that Tofu had a crush on her and that this was the reason he acted like a five-year-old on LSD whenever he saw her. But that was an entirely one-sided attraction. The way he always fell to pieces around her just wasn't particularly attractive. Or manly. Plus, he was twice her age! He'd already been hitting on her when Kasumi had been in her last year of junior high school. That was just creepy – a middle-aged man hitting on a girl barely half his age.

There was a time when Kasumi had entertained the idea of giving the good doctor a chance, but as soon as she pictured what her future life would be like she had dismissed it. Tofu was almost 40 years old and so shy that she'd probably have to tie him to a bed to get any sex from him. In another twenty years, when Kasumi would enter the prime of her life, he'd be 60. By then he'd never be able to keep up with her sexually!

No, Tofu wasn't the man for her. And people who thought she had a thing for the middle-aged creep should get their heads examined.

Kasumi wanted a man who was confident, strong and handsome. Somebody who could be assertive when needed, but who didn't stifle her.

Somebody like my Ranma, Kasumi thought, smiling dreamily as she remembered the way he had asserted himself in the bathroom that night.

"Sure it isn't," Tanaka grumbled, snapping Kasumi out of her memories.

She blinked. "Hmm? Oh," she made as came to her senses. Right, she was on her way to punish Tofu for hurting her Ranma. "I'm sorry, but I really do have to get going now."

"Well, if you're in such a hurry, I won't hold you up," Tanaka said reluctantly. "Just promise me it won't be another week before you visit again!"

"I promise. Good bye!" Turning, Kasumi resumed her walk to Tofu's practise, checking her basket to see the Thermos bottle was still in it. After five steps she stopped and turned back.

"On second thought, I think I might need a few things after all. What would you suggest I serve with roast pork?"

* * *

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, Akane thought as she stood before the giant iron gate of the Kuno mansion.

The foreboding portal loomed before her twenty feet high and forty feet across. It gave of a strange low hum that made the fine hairs on her arms stand up. Twisting black iron bars ran from the bottom to the top, and gleaming golden metal framed the bars and wove itself in loops and waves from left to right. Occasionally, sparks would fly from the spots where a bar and a loop intersected.

At a height of about five feet signs hung at the gate, proclaiming strange things like,

"INTRUDERS WILL BE FED TO THE GIANT MAN-EATING TURTLE!"

"BAD KEIKIS WHO NO HAVE PERMISSION TO GET IN BE GETTIN' BUZZ CUTS!"

"HALT! STATE YOUR BUSINESS, PEASANT, OR YOU WILL BE SMITTEN WITH THE JUSTICE OF THE HEAVENS!"

Through the gate Akane could see the opulent Kuno mansion and the garden surrounding it. The mansion itself was easily four times as big as her own house, built in the traditional style of Samurai homes. A cobbled road, as wide as the front gate, led to what she assumed was the front door, twisting and winding across well-manicured lawn like a giant, grey serpent. Well-kempt hedges adorned the edges of the road, and pine trees had been planted along the outer wall. In the corner to the left of the house something glinted in the sun-light, probably a big pond.

"These people are crazy. And I must be crazy for even considering this," Akane muttered as she stared at the signs hanging on the gate. Steeling her nerves, she walked to the right edge of the gate, where a console that served as doorbell and intercom was fixed to the wall.

She pressed the button and waited, trying not to let the huge, looming brown walls that surrounded the Kuno compound intimidate her.

About a minute later, the intercom crackled. "What?" somebody snapped at her.

"Uhm, this is Akane Tendo. I'd to like to talk to Tatewaki Kuno. Is he in?"

"Just a minu-"

"Foolish servant boy!" Akane heard Tatewaki interrupt whomever was talking to her. "If the fierce tigress wishes to bask in my magnificent presence you will let her in at once or I will smite you!"

Muffled impact sounds followed by grunts and a crash came out of the intercom. Then there was silence.

Jeez, Akane thought with a roll of her eyes, he even treats his servants like garbage. Why did I think this was a good idea again?

"The master will meet with you in his quarters," the first voice came back after a bit.

The intercom crackled off, and Akane turned to the gate, nervously biting her lip. The humming sound cut off, accompanied by a burst of sparks that showered to the ground, before the gate swung inwards without a sound.

"Well," Akane said, straightening her spine, "here goes nothing."

* * *

Kasumi stood before the door to Tofu's practise, trying to think of the right words that would get rid of his patients so she'd be alone with the brainless creep.

"_Please, everyone, could you leave and come back tomorrow? I have something important to discuss with the doctor."_

No, that wasn't forceful enough. Tofu's patients were mostly old-timers who didn't have anything to do and visited his practise to exchange gossip and pass the time as much as they went there for actual medical reasons.

"_All right, you old farts! Get out or I'll kick your wrinkly asses! The sadistic paedophile and I need to have words!"_

Kasumi giggled as she pictured the expressions such words coming out of her mouth would cause. It would undoubtedly be funny, but there was the risk that some of his patients would die of a heart attack.

Maybe she could hint at romantic motives for her visit. Most of his patients were incorrigible yentas on top of being horrible gossips. Feeding their delusions might get them out of there. Though that would inevitably lead to uncomfortable questions when she saw them again later.

In the end, Kasumi decided to simply wing it.

As it turned out, Kasumi's worries had been for nothing. As soon as she entered the practise, the people in the waiting room paled as if they'd soon a ghost, made up lame excuses and left as if the hounds of hell were after them.

"I wonder what that's all about," Kasumi muttered. Deciding it didn't matter, she locked the door and set down her basket on the table. She took off the cloth covering the basket and spread it over the table. Out of the basket she removed a pair of rubber gloves, a plate and a large kitchen knife, which she all laid out on the cloth. Lastly, she took out the Thermos bottle and unscrewed its cap.

Her preparations complete, she sat down to wait for the good doctor.

He wandered in five minutes later, dressed as usual in a dark gi and wearing slippers. As soon as he saw her, he grew rigid, his glasses fogging up as he began babbling.

"Ka- Ka- Kasumi! What a pleasant surprise!"

Sighing, Kasumi grabbed the Thermos bottle and rose, ignoring his silly stammering as she approached him. Once she was within touching distance, she splashed him with the contents of the bottle.

The effect was immediate. The doctor seemed to disappear, his clothes falling to the floor in a heap, and his voice cut off mid-babble and transformed into high-pitched squealing.

Kasumi reached into the pile of clothes, rooting around until her hand bumped against Tofu, and picked the transformed doctor up, his glasses dangling off the piglet's left ear. She raised the small piglet up until she could look into its wide, terrified eyes, her hands clutching it so tightly her knuckles were turning white. "You hurt my master, Tofu-sensei," she hissed, ignoring the pig's pathetic squealing. "No one hurts my master. I hope you enjoyed your life, because it's going to end."

The piglet's squeals rose in volume and frequency, and it began squirming in Kasumi's grip like a Frenchman in the face of battle as she carried it to the table. Kasumi's grip was like iron though, and she paid the piglet's struggle only enough attention to pick up a magazine and roll it into a tube.

**WHAP!**

She slapped her prey over the head with her improvised weapon, and the transformed doctor instantly stopped struggling.

Kasumi picked up the knife, its edge glinting dangerously in the artificial light of the doctor's waiting room. "Now it's time to begin your punishment."

The piglet let out a shrill squeal like a boiling tea kettle, its eyes bulging out of its head before they rolled back, and it fell over on its right side, unconscious.

Kasumi pursed her lips. "How... disappointing. I was hoping for a bit more resistance than that. Well, no matter."

She plugged the glasses off the piglet's ear and set the piglet down on the plate. Then she picked up the knife and ran a finger along its edge. "Nice and sharp," she told the unconscious doctor, "you won't feel a thing. It's too bad really."

She put on her gloves and set to work, neatly cutting off the head with the first swift stroke of the knife. Her victim didn't even squeal.

Once her gruesome work was finished, she put the plate with the cut up pig back into the basket, together with the gloves and Thermos, and covered it again with the cloth.

Before she left, she scribbled a hasty note, which she taped to the door of the practise.

_Practise closed. Had to leave town due to personal reasons._

_Ono Tofu._

* * *

The front door opened just as Akane raised her hand to knock, and a middle-aged Japanese man dressed in a butler's uniform looked at her with a sneer on his face.

"The young master has instructed me to lead you to him immediately. Follow me."

He walked off without waiting for a response, and Akane hurried after him. She almost had to break into a light jog to keep up with the butler's long strides and brisk pace, and wondered if she had done something to offend him or if working for the Kunos had simply turned him into an asshole. Probably the latter, she decided.

He led her through a hallway that twisted and turned as if it was constructed by a madman, with other hallways branching off from it at irregular intervals. She almost lost sight of him once as she stopped to stare at a picture of a middle-aged man dressed in samurai armour with a strong resemblance to Tatewaki. When she turned back she barely caught a glimpse of the butler's coattails as he turned down an adjacent hallway. Afterwards, Akane stopped paying attention to her surroundings and kept her eyes fixed on the butler. She had no intention of getting lost in the loonies' den.

Akane had lost count of the number of turns they had made when they finally arrived in an opulent sitting room.

"You may wait here. The young master will join you shortly."

The butler left, again without waiting for a response, and Akane occupied herself by inspecting the room.

A big table, made from dark wood, dominated the room, surrounded by five large leather seats positioned at regular intervals around its circumference. A huge fireplace was built into the wall on her right, with a family portrait hanging above it. The wall opposite the door had big windows in it, and a French door led out into the garden. The wall on the left was covered with hunting trophies.

With nothing to do, Akane decided to take a closer look at the family portrait to pass the time.

The only person in the painting she recognised was Tatewaki, though he was a lot younger. She guessed him to be maybe twelve years old, but he didn't look much different. He was dressed in a hakama and gi and looked just as arrogant as stupid as he did now. To his left stood a pretty girl with raven hair, and behind him were a middle-aged couple.

"Forgive my tardiness, my fierce tigress, but I wanted to look my best when I welcomed you into my humble home."

Akane turned from the portrait and sucked in a sharp breath, inhaling a strong spicy scent that made her a bit light-headed.

Kuno was standing in the doorway, looking at her with a charming smile. He wore a tailored suit that fit him perfectly, its neat cut emphasising his lean muscular build. His hair was slicked back, revealing his aristocratic features and rich brown eyes.

She had forgotten just how handsome a man Tatewaki Kuno was.

Akane suddenly felt like a lowly peasant girl dressed in only her school uniform.

"I see you are overwhelmed by my magnificence." Kuno crossed the room with long strides, almost gliding across the floor, and picked up her hand. The spicy scent was stronger now, and Akane was suddenly feeling light-headed. "You look beautiful," he said. Gazing into her eyes, he lifted her hand and pressed his lips to it in a warm caress that sent tingles down Akane's spine.

"So do you," Akane mumbled and immediately blushed a bright red. How awkward!

Kuno smirked, dropping her hand. "Why don't you have a seat?"

Akane did as told, feeling like a clumsy peasant girl unworthy to be in Tatewaki's presence.

Kuno sat down across from her. "Now, why don't you tell me why you're here? Does your visit mean you have broken free of the foul sorcerer's enchantment?" he asked.

Warmth pooled in Akane's lower belly in response to Tatewaki's earnest gaze and hopeful tone. "Uh, yes," she mumbled. Then she shook her head.

Get a grip, Akane! she told herself. Stop acting like a love-sick school girl if you don't want him to lose interest in you! He likes his girls feisty, remember? So be feisty!

Akane froze. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't like the creep! But he smells so good...

Akane's eyes went wide. That was it! His strange cologne was messing with her head!

She sprang up, almost sprinting across the room in her haste to open to the windows. The fresh air cleared her head, and Akane sucked it in like a drowning man who had broken the surface.

"Is something wrong, my beautiful flower?"

Akane turned around, yelping in surprise as she found herself face to chest with Kuno. This close, his cologne was almost overpowering again, and she could feel herself getting light-headed once more.

She quickly pushed past him. "Of course not! What should be wrong?" She opened the balcony door. "But it's such a lovely day. I just wanted to spend it outside!" she said as she ran outside.

Kuno followed her, sticking so close to her she had jog backwards to keep him out of her personal space. "You are right," he told her, his eyes boring into hers. "This day is much too lovely to spend it inside a stuffy old room."

Akane looked over her shoulder, changing direction so they were heading towards the gate. "What's this cologne you're wearing?" she asked. "It's smells really nice."

Kuno smiled, pleased by her compliment. "It is something I asked my wicked sister to manufacture for me."

"Your sister?"

"Yes, Kodachi," he said, grimacing as he said her name. "She is a creature most foul, whose wickedness almost matches the foul sorcerer's. But she does have her talents." Then he suddenly lunged forward, his arms spread as if to embrace her, and Akane barely managed to dodge. Kuno stopped, shooting her a questioning look. "What iss wrong, my love? You said you had broken Saotome's enslavement. Why are you rejecting my loving embrace?"

Akane winced. Right. That's why she had come here. For a moment she hesitated, not sure if she should go through with her plan. Was it really worth it, fuelling Kuno's delusions, just to make Ranma jealous enough that he'd finally sleep with her?

Yes, Akane decided. It was worth it. Ranma was hers. Not Kasumi's. Not Nabiki's. Once he had slept with her, Ranma would realise that she was the perfect match for him and forget all about her sisters.

Taking a deep breath, Akane steeled her resolve and launched into her act.

"Oh, Tatewaki!" she said passionately, squeezing out a few tears as she made her lips quiver. "I came here to ask for your assistance! Help me, Tatewaki Kuno, you're my only hope!"

Kuno made a grab for her hand, but Akane snatched it back, turning her back to him. "I will do anything, my love!" Kuno said, undeterred by her repeated rejection. "Just tell me what to do!"

"I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend tomorrow at school and challenge Ranma to a fight!"

"Yes!" Kuno cried, lunging at her. Akane neatly sidestepped it. "Let's go to my bedroom where I will demonstrate my love for you right now!"

"NO!" Akane whirled around. "No," she repeated more calmly. "We must wait until tomorrow. I have learned that tomorrow the planets will be aligned in such a way as to weaken his magic. And when he sees me in your arms his power will be weakened even further, and you will finally be able to defeat him. But only tomorrow will it work! If I were to give in to my feelings before you have defeated him, a terrible fate would befall me!"

Akane bit her lip, hoping the idiot would buy her stupid story.

"I see," Kuno said, in a strange quiet voice. "Oh! How the heavens must weep at this injustice!" he went on, back to being his usual stupid, blustering self. "To have you finally here, proclaiming your undying love for me, only to be prevented from acting on that love by the foul sorcerer's evil magicks!"

What? Akane thought. When the hell did I proclaim my undying love to you, you moron?

"Fear not, my love! Though 'tis hard, I will restrain myself for today, so we may finally break Saotome's evil hold tomorrow and consummate our feelings!"

Akane grimaced. Great, she thought. Maybe I shouldn't have fuelled his delusions after all. Better get out of here. "Thank you, Tatewaki!" she cried. "But I must go now! The longer I am away, the greater the risk that Ranma will discover our plans. See you tomorrow!"

Akane turned and sprinted across the lawn. She didn't wait for the front gates to open, she simply jumped over them in a huge, adrenaline-fuelled leap. Once outside, she took a few moments to gather her breath.

Well, she thought as she started her walk home, I hope I'm not going to regret this.

* * *

The Tendos ate pork for dinner that night, though the atmosphere during the meal was strained to the point that even Genma noticed it.

He was usually not given to paying attention to his surroundings when there was delicious food to be eaten, but tensions were running so high that evening that Genma couldn't help but notice them.

Dinner was normally a pretty boisterous affair, with the children chatting about their days, punctuated by jokes and snide comments, and the occasional comment thrown in by Genma or his old buddy Tendo.

Not so tonight.

Soun was still in a funk, acting just as strangely as he'd had the whole day, ever since Kasumi had come home during their game. He'd tried to forego dinner altogether, saying he wasn't hungry, but Kasumi had simply shot him a look and he'd dug in with a gusto to rival Genma at his most hungry.

Ranma was alternating between brooding and cackling as he mumbled, "Soon... Soon..." to himself, so lost in his own world that Genma could steal half his food without being challenged. It kind of took the fun out of it, not that Genma let that stop him.

Akane and Nabiki were lost in thought in as well, communicating only with grunts or monosyllabic words.

The only one who seemed to be in a good mood was Kasumi. She was humming to herself and smiling widely all throughout dinner.

Once the food had been consumed, they all quickly excused themselves as Kasumi cleared the table, and Genma decided to turn in as well.

Hopefully, things would be back to normal tomorrow.

* * *

Ranma shifted in his sleep, trying to get rid of that strange stinging sensation in his lower back. When that didn't help he started swatting at it like a drunken boxer trying to shoo away a fly.

As the fog of sleep slowly lifted itself from his mind, Ranma realised that something was poking him. Something hard and pointy. Needless to say, it was a very unpleasant sensation. And it had woken him up just as he was about eat some ice-cream off Kasumi's chest.

"Mmm, go away," Ranma mumbled, still half asleep. Wasn't it possible to get one full night's sleep here? "I'm not having sex with you again. I don't want your sister to get even more jealous."

His answer was a dry raspy chuckle. "My my, Ranma, it seems like you've been having fun here."

"Gah!" Ranma jumped three feet in the air. "Old ghoul!" he exclaimed, suddenly wide awake, staring wide-eyed at the tiny and very wrinkled woman that stood beside his futon.

**WHACK!**

His remark earned him a smack to the head from Cologne's gnarled staff. "What have I told you about respecting your elders, boy?"

"I'd be respecting you a lot more if you didn't wake me up in the middle of the night!" Ranma said as he rubbed the lump growing on his head. "The sun's not even started to rise!"

"Oh, stop your whining! You're young, a few hours of missed sleep won't hurt you."

"A few hours my ass! It's three in the morning!" Ranma argued. "And besides, I'm a growing boy. I need my sleep."

"That's true," Cologne said with a chuckle, "but this won't take long. And although your offer of a roll in the hay sounds tempting, I'm afraid I'll have to decline. There's something important I want to talk to you about."

"Well, that's a relief." Ranma sighed. "You're old enough for your pussy to be haunted."

**WHACK!**

"Ow! Stop hitting me!" Rubbing the lump growing on his head, he shot Cologne a glare.

"I'll stop hitting you when you start showing some respect!" Cologne snapped. Then she added in a smug tone, "And I'll have you know that certain parts of my body got regular and strenuous workouts until about five years ago!"

"Eww!" Ranma's body couldn't make up its mind whether it wanted to gag or shiver in revulsion. In the end it did both. "That's just ... eww!"

"Hmpf." Cologne tossed her head. "Serves you right."

"What are you doing here anyway?" Ranma asked once he had gotten over his revulsion. "Did you get bored spooking little children in your village and decided you'd pay your star-pupil a visit?"

**WHACK! **

"Ow! Will you cut that out already?"

"No. I think it's the only way you'll learn. You're like a dog in that respect," Cologne said. "And I'm here because my great-granddaughter is coming here."

Ranma groaned. "Oh great. What does she want?"

Cologne chuckled. "I think she said something about regaining her honour by finally beating the irritating outsider that humiliated her in front of the whole village, though I could be wrong. I stop paying attention to her when she starts ranting about you."

"Oh man, that's just what I need." Blowing out a breath, Ranma let his head fall back on his pillow. "First Ryoga shows up, declaring his love for me, and now I have a crazy Amazon after my head." He raised his head a bit and let it fall back against his pillow with a thunk.

"However," Cologne said, talking as if Ranma hadn't said anything, "I think she's here because she has a crush on you."

Ranma froze. He slowly turned his head to cast a baleful glare at the Amazon elder. "Tell me you're joking."

"I wouldn't joke about something as serious as young love!" Cologne said, seeming indignant. "Young love is as beautiful as a spring sunrise and as pure as the winter's first freshly fallen snow!" she went on, her voice full of passion. "It's not something you joke about!"

"Riiiiight," Ranma said, rolling his eyes. "Though that would explain the package with the instant pig curses I got from you."

Cologne frowned. "I didn't send you any package."

"Yeah, that's what I figured. Well, at first I thought it was you, but when I thought about it, I realised it just wasn't your style. You're not as sneaky when you play pranks. You wouldn't put pig curse powder into packages labelled Spring of drowned Boy, you'd just splash somebody with some instant curse water while you cackle like a dried-up old hyena who'd gone mad."

**WHACK! **

"Ow! Cut it out already!"

Cologne pulled her staff back. "Pig curse powder in packages labelled Spring of drowned Boy? Hah!" She laughed. "That's good. And I agree, it's something Shampoo would do." After chuckling for a bit she cast a look outside. "Well, I guess I should go now, let you catch some more sleep. I just wanted to give you a little heads up."

"Oh, okay," Ranma said, disappointed. "It was nice talking to you."

"Same here," Cologne said. She jumped on the window sill and turned around. "Good bye, Ranma, until we meet again!" Then she was gone.

Ranma stared at the window for a few moments longer. "Good bye."

He lay down, rolling on his back to stare at the ceiling. "Shampoo, eh? That could interfere with my plans. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to kick her ass again," he mumbled as he closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.


End file.
